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AN 



EXAMINATION, &, 



\ 






EXAMINATION 



OF THE 



STRICTURES OF THE CRITICAL REVIEWERS 



ON THE 



TRANSLATION OF JUVENAL 



BY W. CIFFORD, ESQ. 



Vituperatus qui sit, haud mediocri sane honori sibi ducat, se tarn absurdis, 
tain stolidis nebulonibus displicere. Milton. 



LONDON: 

PRINTED FOR J. HATCHARD, BOOKSELLER TO HER MAJESTY, 
OPPOSITE ALBANY-PLACE, PICCADILLY. 

180 3. 



\ 






/ 



XT.^r5, r 



Printed by W. Bulmer and Co. Cleveland-row, St. James's. 



** 






AN 



EXAMINATION, &c 



In the introduction to the Epistle to Peter Pindar, (published 
about two years ago,) I had occasion to speak of the literary 
exertions of that egregious personage in our periodical publi- 
cations ; to this was appended the following note : " I have been 
M told that the unmanly reflections on me in the Critical Review, 
" where I have been wantonly insulted — not for what I did write, 
"for that is a matter of course, but for what I did not — were all 
" furnished by Peter Pindar! If this be true, the Editors of that 
" work are more to be pitied than I am. I have offended these 
41 gentlemen — they, perhaps, know how, for I do not; — and I 

*' NEITHER LOOK FOR CANDOUR NOR JUSTICE AT TIKS1R HANDS, 

" nor indeed, am I at all solicitous about the matter — only, 
" methinks, I could wish that when I am to be cut up, they 
4t would call in, if it were but for the credit of their slaughter- 
44 house, some less bungling butcher than Peter Pindar." p. 7. 

B 



[2] 

In this I was perfectly serious : the Translation of Juvenal was 
at that time in the press ; and a regard for the interests of lite- 
rature, made me desirous that the ribaldry with which it was 
sure to be received by the Critical Reviewers, might be dealt out 
by one that could at least comprehend what he was hired to 
abuse. I am sorry my wishes were not heard ;— Peter is, indeed, 
a most wretched reviewer; but the " gentleman"* selected to fill 
his place is no better: in ignorance, impudence, scurrility, 
rancour, and falsehood, they are equal : in extent of reading, 
Peter perhaps has the advantage, which, on the other hand, seems 
to be balanced by his rival's superior acquaintance with the 
Latin vocabulary ! 

I was not mad enough to suppose the Translation of Juvenal 
a perfect work : I saw many errors myself after it came from the 
press, and was confident that the most candid observer would 
see many more : — this is not my case alone ; it is the lot of hu- 
manity ; but in a work of ancient literature, wholly independent 
of the prejudices and passions of modern days, and which, from 
the careful exclusion of temporary topics, could afford no rea- 
sonable plea for malignant hostility, I ventured to hope that 
what was reprehensible, would be noticed without personal 
insult ; and that I should experience some part of that candour 
which I had invariably shewn in it, to every writer who came 
under my observation. 

* The Critical Review is said, in the title-page, to be conducted by " A 
" society of gentlemen," whose standing motto is, 

• nothing extenuate, 

Nor set down aught in malice. 
Perhaps language does not furnish another instance of words so impudently per- 
verted from their true meaning. 



[*] 

I acknowledge with thankfulness, that I have not been rfi 
pointed. Greater vanity would be gratified by the praises which 
I have received; and greater abilities flattered by the little to 
which men of real taste and learning have objected, in so various 
and extensive a publication. 

It will be easily conceived that amongst the critics from 
whom 1 looked for common decency, I did not number the asso- 
ciates of Peter. I knew too well that the Critical Reviewers 
reviewed books, as the ancients planted basil, with cursing and 
swearing; and had been honoured with too many specimens of 
their hostility, not to foresee that, on the present occasion, I 
should be favoured with somewhat more than my share of it. Of 
this, however, I took neither thought nor care; nor should I have 
condescended to waste a syllable upon them, if they had not 
" travelled out of the record," and added forgery and false- 
hood to the usual attributes of their Review. 

In the retort on these " gentlemen," I am anxious that my 
motives should not be misunderstood. I love criticism, and have 
studied it; and I honour critics, — genuine ones, I mean; sacred 
be their strictures! But when they descend from their station, 
revile instead of examine, and, in the attitude of a drunken 
porter, thrust their fists into our faces, they lose their privilege, 
and become just objects of attack in their turn. In this degraded 
situation stand the Critical Reviewers. I sought no quarrel with 
them; but since they neglect their office to become pugilists, 
pugilists too of the most despicable order, fretful, irritating, and 
litigious, I am content to defend myself. 

Before I begin, it may be necessary to say a few words on the 
B2 



[« ] 

structure of a Review. It is generally supposed to be the pro- 
duction of a set of independent gentlemen, (independent, as far 
as human weakness will permit,) zealous for the interests of lite- 
rature, and labouring to promote them by a series of observations 
dictated by correct taste, strong and manly sense, candour, and 
such liberality of sentiment and language as the education of a 
gentleman may be supposed to instil. And such, with a few 
exceptions, I believe to be the plan on which the majority of our 
Reviews is formed and conducted : with that of which I am now 
to speak, it is not so. 

The Critical Review was begun in spleen, and has grown up 
in hatred and malignity. At its establishment it underwent a 
prosecution for defamation; and there have not probably been 
many numbers produced since, in which one article or another 
has not exposed the vender to the cart's-tail or the whipping- 
post. 

The consequences of this have been such as might be antici- 
pated; for though the love of slander, too common among " the 
" race" that read, as well as those " that write," has always pro- 
cured it a certain number of purchasers ; yet, as I learn from 
unexceptionable authority, it has never been a profitable concern, 
and would long since have, been given up, had not the Robinsons 
found it a convenient vehicle for the propagation of their peculiar 
tenets. Thus lingering out a kind of living death,* the proprietor, 

4 

* I never meet with the Critical Review, unless here and there in a bookseller's 
shop ; and, as the beggar said of the new guineas, I can't think what becomes of 
them It is true, most of my acquaintance are attached to the religion and govern- 
ment of the country, and all of them to sound sense and liberal criticism — this 



Mr. Hamilton of Falcon-court, who is also the printer, finds him- 
self unable to pay men of ability for their labour; and the 
Review is therefore thrown open to ignorance and envy. Every 
scribbler devoured with malice, every splenetic blockhead who 
trembles lest his merits should be eclipsed, every one, in short, 
who has a real or imaginary grievance to revenge, has an easy 
access to the Critical Review. Few questions are asked ; and 
provided the views of the state be not furthered, nor those of 
Messrs. Robinson obstructed, the Publisher is bound to accept 
with thankfulness whatever Bedlam and Billinsgate in conjunc- 
tion may put into his hands. 

One of the evils which naturally results from so wretched a 
system is the uncertainty that pervades this work. The first sa- 
crifice is constantly made to malice, the second to interest; and 
as the one is sometimes compromised by a too free indulgence of 
the other, it produces embarrassments of the most ridiculous 
kind. 

When the Pursuits of Literature first appeared, it was re- 
viewed somewhat like the Translation of Juvenal. The author 
was insulted with the grossest terms, and confident predictions 
were made that the work would fall into immediate neglect : so 
ignorant indeed, and so impudent were the strictures on it, that 
they were generally believed to proceed from the pen of Peter, 
this at least may be boldly affirmed, that they were truly worthy 

accounts for my not finding it with them ; but that I should never light on it, by 
any accident, nor know a single purchaser of it, is strange indeed ! It seems to be 
slowly following the Ana'y'ical Review (which yet possessed infinitely more 
talents) to the place " where all things are forgotten." 



[6] 

of him. What is the result? that work, the memory of which 
was to expire, before the ink that marked its condemnation was 
dry, has been rising in reputation, from its first appearance; and 
having reached the twelfth edition, has just compelled the 
Critical Reviewers, who have all the saving cunning of foolish 
knaves, to chaunt a palinodia: and now it is that " popular work," 
that " favourite work ;" presently it will be that " admirable 
work \" 

I know not what the learned author of the Pursuits thinks 
of this, but solemnly declare that I had rather encounter all 
their enmity to the end of time, than be the humbled object of 
their repentant, their worthless praise: 

A fool quite angry is quite innocent : 

Alas ! tis ten times worse when they repent. 

I look on the scurrility poured on myself in the Critical Re- 
view (and there is not a person who knows me but will unequi- 
vocally vouch for the truth of the assertion) with the most perfect 
contempt ; yet confess I have felt some indignation at that 
which I have seen lavished on others; others, perhaps, have ex- 
perienced the same sensations on my account. 

I could never contemplate with patience the infamous scur- 
rilities directed against the first geographer in Europe : — but 
Major Rennell had been guilty of an inexpiable crime : he had 
pointed out the ignorance of the Reviewer; and the mise- 
rabe quack, struggling between impudence and detection, 
poured forth a torrent of abuse on a work which will confer a 
lasting honour on the country. Nor was this all ; Major Rennell, 



[ I ] 

with that modesty which is inseparable from true worth, had 
confessed his want of acquaintance witli the Greek language. 
Here was an opportunity of triumphing over an adversary not 
to be overlooked. Comment (quoth the Critic, in the words of 
his prototype the Mock Doctor), vous nc savez pas le dec! 
What ! you do not understand Greek ! 

Crofth deletok abaneb exafna tembybe cyrutz — 

Oh, le bel langage ! O the Greek is a fine language ! And thus 
it is that impudence and imposture amaze the ignorant, confound 
the modest, and over-awe the timid. 

But mark the consistency of these Critics. The men, who in 
their reviling of Major R. arrogantly pronounce that they are 
" chary of praise," which "must be earned before it is bestowed," 
were lavishing, at that same instant, whole pages of it on a 
jumble of incomprehensible trash called Gebir, the most vile and 
despicable effusion of a mad and muddy brain that ever disgraced, 
I will not say the press, but the " darkened walls" of Bedlam. 
And what was the answer, when they were told of this infamous 
prostitution? That they did it " to push off a few of the books." 
Nota loquor. I speak what I know. 

The name of Dr. Jenner is as familiar to most of my readers, 
as his extraordinary merits, which have procured him the thanks 
and blessings, not only of his country, but of all the civilized 
world. This man, and his laudable exertions in the cause of 
suffering humanity, have these " disinterested" approvers of a 
mischievous ideot, these " free and unbiassed" admirers of Gebir, 
persecuted for months, nay for years, with unvarying ridicule, 



until, in one of their last numbers, when the general indignation 
was already kindled against them, a letter of expostulation is 
very conveniently received from the country, and the sneaking 
slanderers are now preparing to retract all they have advanced, 
and perhaps to place this great and good man almost on a level 
with the author of Gebir! 

Come we now to the review of the Translation of Juvenal. 

" The historian of declining Rome had obtained by unwearied 
" efforts the palm of celebrity, his posthumous friends, from his 
" own records, published the memorials of an indefatigable 
" life, and failed neither to awaken curiosity nor to remunerate 
" attention. 

" The humble translator of a Roman satirist anticipates the 
" office of his executors, and announces himself, his pedigree, and 
" pristine meanness with a revolting self-complacency, scarcely 
" exceeded by the luminous Gibbon." September, p. 10. 

What is the deduction from this malicious piece of absurdity? 
Is it that— because Mr. Gibbon, who wrote a history of Rome, 
left memoirs of himself to be published by his executors, there- 
fore every one who does not write a history of Rome must do the 
same ! Where is the analogy ? Was Gibbon the only p'erson 
who " left memoirs of himself?" Is the Translator of Juvenal the 
only one who " anticipated the office of his executors?" What 
is meant to be said? — And is the Critic well assured that I have 
" anticipated," Sec? Does he recollect nothing of a respectable 
associate, who kindly took upon himself the office of my execu- 
ior? I will answer for him ; he does : and, with equal credit to 



[9] 

his head and his heart, has enriched his review with a few cir- 
cumstances from the interesting narration. 

Let me be forgiven for observing in this place, that the " gen 
tleman" takes a liberal delight in recurring in contemptuous 
terms to Mr. Gilford's " source." I could well have spared 
another word on this subject; but, thus insulted, it may not be 
amiss to check, his contemptible vanity by informing him that 
it is neither more " mean," more " degraded," nor move t: ob- 
scure"* than his own, be he who he may. From my family I 
•derived nothing but a name, which the poorest of us have, and 
which is more, probably, than I shall leave — but that family is 
ancient, was once very respectable, and sunk into insignificance 
and decay, as many others have done, by a succession of thought- 
less inheritors. With all this, however, I have nothing to do. 
Like the iamb in the fable, " I was not then born :" nor should I 
ever have opened .my lips on the subject (indeed a silence of 
more than twenty years is no feeble voucher for me), if the in- 
justice of two such but enough ; retournons a nos moutons. 

I pass over the sneers at the Introduction, which I am neither 
sorry nor surprised to see them treat with unvarying insolence 
and contempt. They have the good fortune to be singular in 
this part of their conduct, and may be contentedly left to the un- 
disturbed enjoyment of iL 

" Satiated with the self-importance of Mr.Gifford," p. 11, they 
*' slightly glance over the surface of the original fabric," p. 13, 
in a cursory flight through Laharpe. Thii is succeeded by a 

* " This place" (Halsworth), says Guillim, " was long the residence of the 
•Giffords, from whom descended" but it is not worth transcribing. 

c 



[ 10] 

most learned list of commentators, fcc. copied from that recon- 
dite treasury of information, the title-page to Hcnninius's edition 
of Juvenal ! beyond which the Critics have not looked. To this 
is tacked an enumeration of the English translations to which I 
had, or might have, access, among which are " Dryden's, Her- 
vey's, and Neville's." If we did not know the close and constant 
alliance of ignorance and impudence, we should scarcely believe 
that the man who talks so confidently of translations, is indebted 
for his muster-roll to an imperfect catalogue, copied without in- 
quiry. Dryden and Hervey ! why not Creech, Congreve, and 
Tate? The mention of Neville, as one of the translators of Juve- 
nal, is too ridiculous for notice. Did the Critic ever look into 
him ? No ! 

" His situation appears to have been peculiarly propitious for 
" accomplishing his task with finished elegance," p. 13. This is 
meant to insinuate, that at the period here spoken of, I had 
boasted of having consulted that formidable body of commenta- 
tors and translators so ostentatiously displayed : — but what are 
my own words? " I now discovered (i. e. after the period men- 
tioned by the Critic) for the first time, that my own inexperience, 
and the advice of my too partial friend, had engaged me in a 
work for which my literary attainments were by no means suffi- 
cient. Errors and misconceptions appeared in every page. I 
had, indeed, caught something of the spirit of Juvenal, but his 
meaning had escaped me, and I saw the necessity of a long and 
painful revision." p. xix. Does this savour of the " revolting 
self-sufficiency" of which Mr. Gifford is accused? The truth 
is, that few of the number were better known to me at that 



[ " ] 

" propitious moment" than to the Critic at this; indeed, scarcely 
so well; for I had not even heard of their names. 

The account of my " advantages" is followed by an accusation 
of dishonesty ; and lest the charge should escape the cai> 
reader, it is one while put into italics, and another, set off with 
notes of admiration. It has frequently happened, that the injus- 
tice of my enemies has given me opportunities, which I should 
never have sought, of justifying myself from wandering calumnies 
and falsehoods. The history of the subscription i| shortly this. 
My ever-regretted friend Mr. Cookesley fell ill the week after it 
was opened, and died. It was found that he had set down four 
names only; but what they paid, or whether they paid any 
thing, was not ascertained. Some months afterwards, the sub- 
scription was revived by the kindness of Servington Savery, to 
whom I had transmitted a number of receipts. How many he 
disposed of I never knew ; certainly, it was a very small number: 
•and of the few who subscribed, all who could be found had their 
money returned, at my express desire. Mr. Savery left that part 
of the country on a sudden call elsewhere, and many years 
elapsed before we met. 

Besides this gentleman, Thomas Taylor, Esq. a magistrate of 
great worth and respectability, undertook to exert himself in my 
favour. When the translation was suspended, the subscriptions 
he had collected were scrupulously returned. From Mr. Taylor, 
who is happily still living, I received (about the time that the 
slanderous doers of the Crit. Rev. were indirectly charging 
me with picking the pockets of my subscribers) a congratulatory 
letter on the appearance of the translation ; this I fortunately 

C2 



[ 12] 

preserved, and now trouble the reader with the following extract 
from it: " It is long since that on your issuing proposals, I used 
my endeavours to procure subscriptions, and in some measure 
succeeded, but you returned me the money to be repaid to those 
from whom I received it. I believe you returned me my own 
subscription also ; however, I must have the book," 8cc. 

From Devonshire, therefore, I never received one farthing on 
account of the translation. At Oxford I set it on foot myself, and 
procured many names: the money, however, was intrusted to 
the care of a young gentleman of the name of Brown, whose 
melancholy catastrophe is mentioned in the Introduction : — the 
Critical Reviewers, perhaps, were " sated with Mr. Gifford's 
" self-importance" before they had read so far; this must be their 
apology for insulting me with having pocketed what I honestly 
(however they are pleased to scoff at the word) set aside with a 
purpose of returning, if the translation did not proceed ; and 
which nothing but an event as dreadful as it was unexpected, 
prevented me from immediately executing. 

In a word, I never received to my own use a single sixpence 
of the subscription money for the translation of Juvenal, from 
the moment of its being announced, to that of its appearance! 
So stands my account with my subscribers : let us next see how 
theirs stands with me. 

The work was originally proposed at sixteen shillings : it 
was to be a thin quarto, without notes, or introduction of any 
kind. It is now a large, and beautifully printed book,* with 

* Minim ! the Reviewer, or rather the Reviler, allows this. " It is," quoth 
he, " a fairly -printed book ;" but this is Mr. Bulmer's praise, not mine. 



[ '3 ] 

much prefatory matter, and a body of notes more than equal in 
bulk to the text, and sells lor a guinea and a half". This the sub- 
scribers of sixteen shillings have received, without any advance 
whatever; and amongst these are several of whose names I 
never heard, until they applied lor their copies: — this, 1 hope, will 
be a sufficient answer to another offence with which 1 am mali- 
ciously charged — that of not printing a list ; which I had no 
better means of doing than my calumniators : — the subsciibers of 
eight shillings have had the same, and in many cases greater 
advantages; for several of them have trebled their advance 
money • the reader has now a faithful account of my nefarious 
attempt to pick the pockets of my benefactors. 

I am next reminded that " in the relation of my adventures I 
" omit to record that I had indulged my taste for other literary 
" occupations, and published two virulent and vulgar paraphrases 
" or travesties of Horace and Persius." O that Baviad! this seems 
to have nothing to do with Bacchus, whatever it may with the 
Critical Reviewer, who forgets, in his turn, that " my adventures" 
— (I call them my no-adventures) terminated with my arrival in 
town. 

If it were worth inquiry, (which it certainly is not,) I might ask 
why I am marked out for the persecution of these people. I have 
written some things which I. have avowed, and more, which I 
have not — but not a line which I shall ever blush to own. I 
wrote, it is true, a satire, in which I introduced, as the Critic says, 
" naked names," and amongst them most probably his own — 
hinc iras et lachrymae, — but from no unworthy motives ; and I 
prefixed my own name to my strictuies. My conduct, I trust, is 



[ 14] 

somewhat different from that of the lurking cowards of the 
Critical Review, who spring forward in the dark to stab the un- 
suspecting passenger, and then slink back, to revel over the 
assassination in gloomy security. 

Add, that my satire was wholly levelled at the poetry of the 
Cruscan school. I reviled no man's person, I traduced no man's 
character, nor was it, till I was wantonly defamed by such as I 
had never injured, that I added a single name or circumstance to 
those first introduced. 

" The literary treasures which Mr. G. has rifled, we have 
" already unveiled," p. 14. No, Sir, you neither have nor can 
unveil them. Your ignorance confines you to the knowledge of 
such as I have casually specified, which form a very small part 
of the number consulted. The illiberal sneer conveyed in the 
word rifle, is worthy of you. I did my duty in applying to 
every source which promised assistance: let the merit rest with 
you and your gang, of terming a laborious and honest investiga- 
tion of authorities, a robbery. 

"The 16th Satire is entirely omitted. Does the unsupported sus- 
" picion that it is the work of an old scholiast, authorize Mr. G. to 
" reject a composition which preceding editors, critics, and transla- 
" tors, British and foreign, have published as legitimate?" p. 15. 

It was a maxim of the Stoics, that a fool could not thrust out 
his finger without demonstrating his folly ; and the Critic before 
us, fully proves it. My words are: " With respect to the 16th 
Satire, Dodwell hesitates to attribute it to Juvenal ; and indeed 
the old scholiast says that, in his time many thought it to be the 
work of a different hand/' xxvii. Is this suspecting it to be the 



[ is ] 

work of an old scholiast? Shame on such conduct ! fabrications, 
falsehoods, of every species, are exhausted to injure the reputation 
of a writer whose sole crime is that of exposing some conceited 
scribbler in the Baviad. 

But is the " suspicion," that it was not written by Juvenal, 
11 unsupported?" I have Rupcrti before me; and, without ad- 
verting to the improbability of the Critics understanding him, 
will extract a short passage for those who do. At the same time 
let me say, that I had read and maturely weighed all the autho- 
rities here advanced, before a syllable was written on the subject. 
" De auctore vero hujus satirse (16mae) jam olim fuere, qui 
u addubitarent. Schol. Iijsc adnotavit : ' Quidam dicunt non 
11 esse Juvenalis, sedabejusamicoadpositam.' Vet. Schol. Pithoei. 
" Ilia a plerisque exploditur, et dicitur non esse Juvenalis. 
" His adslipulantur Grotius, Rutgers. Barth. Plathnerus, Bahrdt 
" et alii ; sed refragantur Dempster, Scaliger, aliique multi. 
" Neque haec lis facile dirimenda est, (our booby of a Bavian sees 
no difficulty in this, or any thing else,) quum in utramque partem 
11 quaedam, eaque satis gravia, disputari possint." Vol. II. 791. 
The conclusion from all this is, that the Reviewer is totally 
ignorant of what he so confidently prates about. A careless 
glance at a note, which he can scarcely read, is not sufficient to 
qualify him for criticizing a work of literature : I mention this 
for the sake of his employers : their cause, it is true, cannot be 
disgraced ; but I am mortified to see them act as if they really 
thought it could. 

" Conscious of meriting reproof, Mr. G. avows under the 
41 shadow of a note," (the malicious insinuation here is ob- 



[ 16] 

vious: to those who have not seen the translation, however, 
it may be observed that the whole of what is said, not only of 
the 16th, but of every other Satire, is under " the shadow of a 
" note!") that he would have presented a translation of it to the 
M reader, if a friend had not disappointed him when it was too 
" late to apply elsewhere, or to attempt it himself." " Conscious of 
" meriting reproof!" Certainly I am conscious of no such matter: 
nor will I submit to receive it from an illiterate slanderer, who 
belies my authorities, and perverts my words. " Why he was 
" too late to apply elsewhere, or to attempt it himself, he fails to 
" inform us." p. 15. It may be done in three words; the 
fifteenth Satire was printed before I was aware of the disappoint- 
ment : and the publisher was impatient for the delivery of the 
book, as the month of May was already commenced. Such is the 
simple story ! and to such minutiae can the malevolence of one im- 
pertinent blockhead, frequently force an honest mind to descend. 
In the next section it is insinuated that I consulted no autho- 
rities ; but contented myself with moulding the collections made 
from original writers by — Dryden, Laharpe, and Dussaulx ! ! ! 
The malice of this falsehood is happily counteracted by its inex- 
pressible stupidity. He who can seriously talk of the original 
writers consulted by Dryden, Laharpe, and Dussaulx, may be 
boldly flung aside as one of those clamorous pretenders who 
infest literature on the score of being acquainted with catalogues 
and sale-rooms. From " the elegant Ruperti.," who is every 
thing but elegant, arid into whom this dashing coxcomb most 
assuredly never looked, I took nothing but a hint respecting the 
age of Lucretius, yet I spoke of him with gratitude; and may 



[ M I 

reasonably flatter myself that what was said has not proved alto- 
gether unserviceable to hiin. From Laharpel took even less than 
from lluperti: from Dnssaulx, whatever suited my purpose, 
which I have on every occasion fairly and openly avowed: and 
from Dryden — but he is in every one's hand. 

Upon the whole, I charge the Reviewer with a deliberate and 
wicked falsehood. I consulted every original work which related 
to my subject : and, without an ostentatious display ofliterature, 
" moulded" my own collections, not " Dryden's," into what I 
hope was a plain, but not inelegant narrative. That it has been 
termed so by critics of a different description from this, is at 
once my pride and my reward. 

We are now arrived at the translation. Review, Oct. p. 169. 

" Semper ego auditor tantum? nunquamne reponam, 
11 Vexatus toties rauci Theseide Codri ? 

" These lines display nothing low or colloquial."' It will be well 
for the reader (as he will find ere long), to believe what the 
Critic shall prove, rather than what he shall assert. Oi style he 
is grossly ignorant; he professes indeed a high-bred horror 
(very excusable in one of Mr. Hamilton's corps of" gentlemen") 
of what is low, but when he confounds it with what is colloquial, 
he carries the privilege of his " gentility" to a culpable excess. 
The truth is, that these two lines, though spirited and correct, 
are altogether colloquial! and even of their spirit, no small 
portion is derived from the bold termination of the second, in 
('<>dri; a happiness unattainable by an English translation. 
• Mr. Giffbrd, coarse as Dryden, is inferior in brevity and 

n 



[ 18} 

" spirit," p, 169. Coarse as Dryden ! good: but the Critic 
blunders again. The fact seems to be that Dryden tried to 
render this passage in two lines, and failing to please himself, 
adopted the version of Stapylton. In two lines it will never be 
rendered with effect; for Holyday, who ambitiously labours to 
number line for Kne with Juvenal, and who frequently attains 
his object, by the aid of his barbarous monosyllables, is con- 
strained to exceed his measure here. 

" Shall I always be only a hearer? Shall I never repay, who am 
" teized (vexatus), so often with theTheseis of the hoarse Codrus? 

Mad an. 
11 Still shall I hear, and never quit the score, 
" Stunn'd with hoarse Codrus' Theseid o'er and o'er : 

Dryden. 
" What ! while with one eternal mouthing hoarse, 
" Codrus persists, on my vex'd ear to force 
" His Theseid, must I, to my fate resign'd, 
" Hear, only hear, and never pay in kind!" 

Gifford. 
"The alliterative cacophony of What ! while with one,8cc. the 
11 insupportable vulgarity of ' eternal mouthing,' the tame inter- 
" polation of must /, (which, with the Critic's leave, is no " inter- 
" polation") and the inelegance of pay in kind, startled us for a 
44 moment, but prepared us for subsequent froth and fustian." 
p. 189. 

So, Sir, you were startled at the inelegance of " pay in 
kind !" Very possibly .: it is however taken from one of the most 



I '9] 

elegant poems ol the most elegant poets that this country ever 
produced : 

To some a dry rehearsal he assign'd, 

And others, harder still ! he paid in kind. Pope. 

Perhaps language does not furnish a happier combination of 
words, not only to express repoiiam, but the precise idea whiclj 
occupied the mind of Juvenal : — and shall we be told by an 
obscure scribbler, who has crept into a degraded publication for 
the sake of venting his malice, that the choicest expressions of 
our correctest writers are coarse and vulgar, because his sottish 
ignorance conceives they originated with me ! 

" Et nos ergo manum ferulae subduximus, — is thus rendered 
more intelligible." — I must observe here, once for all, that the 
Critic has crowded his sagacious observations with italics, and 
notes of admiration, that no part of their poignancy may be 
lost : thus more intelligible ! is recommended to notice. 

" I too can write, and, at a pedant's frown, 
M Once pour'd my frothy fustian on the town." 

Would it be believed, unless we had the Critic's mark for it, that 
he imagines the translation of the line he quotes to be, " I pour'd, 
Sec. ?" yet it is really so. But I will drag you, Sir, from your 
lurking-place ; you shall find no resources for your malice in 
your suppressions ; no shelter for your ignorance in your muti- 
lated quotations : every passage shall be given at full. 

1)2 



Et nos ergo manum ferulae subduximus, et nos 
Consilium cletlimus Syllae privatus ut altum 
Dormiret, Sec. 

And I therefore have withdrawn my hand from the ferule, 
and I have given counsel to Sylla, that, a private man, soundly 
he should sleep. Madan. 

Our hand then from the ferula we have 
- Withdrawn ; advice we once to Sylla gave 

To sleep retired and safe. Holyday. 

Provoked by these incorrigible fools, 

I left declaiming in pedantic schools; 

Where, with men-boys, I strove to get renown, 

Advising Sylla to a private gown. Drydex. 

I would humbly ask whether any of these translations (how- 
ever literal) convey, to an English reader, the drift of Juvenal's 
arguments. Conceiving, perhaps erroneously, that they did not, 
I was less solicitous to render the original word for word, than 
to give the general sense, and connect it with what immediately 
follows : 

I too can write : Once at a pedant's frown, 
I pour'd my frothy fustian on the town, 
And idly proved that Sylla, far from power, 
Had pass'd, unknown to fear, the tranquil hour; 
Now, I resume my pen, Sec. 

The idle declamations to which the author alludes, such as, 
Whether Hannibal should have marched to Rome? Whether 



Mi J 

Sylla should, or should not have resigned the dictatorship ? kc. 

had long been a serious grievance, and are spoken of" with dis- 
gust by all the writers of Juvenal's lime. As they were pro- 
duced, however, in every rhetoric-school,— to have written them 
proved that the author had received sonic kind of education, 
and was, at least, as well qualified to write, as most of those who 
infested the town. This is the purport of the passage, and this 
I endeavoured to express. How it is done, is not mine to judge : 
but when a Reviewer, either through ignorance or malice, has 
the audacity to affirm with a sneer, that et nos ergo manum is 
translated, " I pour, kc." it is perfectly competent for me to expose 
the perversity of his heart, or the invincible stupidity of his 
head. The short passage that answers to the quotation is, 
" Once, at a pedant's frown." 

" Causidici nova cum veniat lectica Mathonis 
" Plena ipso, 

11 When bloated Matho, in a new-built chair 
M Stuft with himself, is borne abroad for air. 

" That Matho was borne abroad for air we were first informed 
14 by Dryden, whose gratuitous hemistich Mr. G. inserts ; but 
11 he omits an essential word, causidici, which glares before him 
li in the original text ; while in a note he wanders to procure 
11 evidence from the seventh satire that the gentleman followed 
11 the profession of a lawyer." p. 190. 

Rats and mice and such small deer, 

Have been Tom's food for seven long year ! 



[22] 

What infantine puling is this? It is the first time, perhaps, that 
an attempt to illustrate an author from himself, has fallen under 
the censure of criticism : the reader, however, shall have my 
" wanderings." 

" Matho (as we find from the seventh Satire) originally fol- 
lowed the profession of a lawyer ; but meeting, perhaps deserv- 
ing, no encouragement, he fell into the extremes of poverty, and 
broke. He then turned, informer ; the dreadful resource of men 
of desperate fortunes and desperate characters. In this he 
seems to have been successful: he has a chair, which Juvenal 
takes care to tell us had not been long in his possession, and he 
is grown immoderately fat, for he fills it himself." p. 12,. The 
reader now sees why the ic essential word" causidici, which is 
not essential at all, is omitted. At this period, according to my 
ideas of the date of the satires, which are. recorded at length, 
Matho was no lawyer; although the name might, and probably 
did, attach to him, as a term of contempt : to translate the word 
therefore, could only serve to mislead the English reader: — 
enough of this. To the heavy charge of adopting the hemistich 
from Dryden, I plead guilty; perhaps, Matho might be borne 
abroad for business ; and as this is an affair of the utmost con- 
sequence, I will endeavour to ascertain it by the time of our 
next meeting : — meanwhile, with the Critic's permission, let me 
observe that when he says I have translated " plena ipso by 
" bloated/' he says the thing which is not; plena ipso, still with 
submission, is translated, " stuff'd with himself;" which does 
not mean, as he shrewdly supposes, that the man was stuffed 
with himself, but that the " chair" was. And I am bold enough to 



[23 ] 

add, that if Juvenal had written in English, lie would have varied 
little from this expression. The Critic, however, is so delighted 
with his sagacity, that he exclaims upon his own blunder, 
il Mr. Gifford over-stuffs us." Simpleton! 

Soon shot, indeed, thy bolts are, but ne'er hit; 
Or short, or wide, is all thy squirting wit! 

" Ex quo Deucalion, nimbis tollentibus aequor, 

11 Navigio montem ascendit, sortesque poposcit, 

" Paullatimque anima caluerunt mollia saxa, 

11 Et maribus nudas ostendit Pyrrha puellas : 

" Quicquid agunt homines, votum, timor, ira, voluptas, 

" Gaudia, discursus, nostri est farrago libelli. 

11 Count from the time since old Deucalion's boat 

" Rais'd by the flood, did on Parnassus float, 

11 And, scarcely mooring on the clifF, implor'd 

" An oracle how man might be restor'd, 

" When soften'd stones, and vital breath ensu'd, 

" And virgins naked were by lovers view'd. 

11 Whatever since that golden age was done, 

44 What human kind desire, and what they shun, 

44 Rage, passions, pleasures, impotence of will, 

44 Shall this satyrical collection fill. Dryden. 

44 E'er since Deucalion and his Pyrrha stood 

44 On old Parnassus, (by the general fl >od 

44 Uprais'd) and, taught by heaven, behind them threw 

44 Their mother's bones, that soften'd as they flew, 



[24 ] 

11 Soften'd, and, with the breath oflife made warm, 

" Assumed, by slow degrees, the human form; 

Ci Whatever wild desires have swell'd the breast, 

" Whatever passions have the soul possest, 

11 Joy, Sorrow, Fear, Love, Hatred. Transport, Rage, 

" Shall form the motley subject of my page." Gifford. 

This is said to be imperfect, incorrect, languid, careless, and 
prosaic; and, to be exceeded by Dryden. p. 190. 

This is fair enough: but mark how I am overwhelmed with a 
torrent of criticism. " Mr. G. suffers the navigium to founder at 
" sea, and leaves Deucalion drenched on Parnassus, deprived 
" of his boat ! ! !•" Bravo ! Mr. Hamilton " is blessed in this 
man, as I may say, even blessed." But how is the navigium 
suffered to founder at sea? If Deucalion and Pyrrha were up- 
raised by the flood, it is probable they were in it, otherwise they 
might have sunk with the rest of mankind. But is not this the 
very dregs of criticism? Is it necessary to render every word by 
a correspondent one; or when an obscure illusion is made to an 
old story, is it a crime worthy of hard language, to endeavour to 
illustrate it ? But the facility with which such remarks are made, 
gives confidence to fools, and produces those spiteful drivellings, 
which, under the name of criticism, defile our literature. Suppose 
for a moment, that Dryden and I had changed places, and that 
this great man was to be insulted, reviled, and calumniated, for 
having exposed the ears of some Mac Flecknoe of a reviewer; 
how easily might this be done, and in the critic's own way ! 
" Mr. Dryden suffers Deucalion to sink at sea (and probably the 



[25 ] 

hapless Pyrrha with bun, for of her lie says nothing!) and brings 
the navigium alone to Parnassus, deprived of both its pas- 
sengers ! ! ! We need not remark how improbable it is, that the 
navigium should alsomoor itself "on the cliff" — credaljudaus 
Apella! — or that it should implore the Oracle how " man might 
14 be restored !" We know that the woods of Dodona were vocal, 
but it remains with Mr. Dryden to prove that the navigium was 
actually built of this limber!!!" 

Is not this " somewhat after the manner of Longinus !" 
11 But Mr. G. remains, insensible to the sweetness of Paul- 
" latim anima caluerunt mollia saxa ; unexpectedly introducing 
" his own Deucalion and Pyrrha, with their mother's bones 

" flying." p. 190. 

In my younger days I got by heart a stanza made on a 
wretched succession of mayors in some Cornish town, and I am 
glad I yet remember it. " Let us cast away nothing," says Pan- 
darus, " for we know not what use we may have for it :" 

If thus we go on, 

And from bad to worse run, 

Who shall be elected next year? 
To fill up the place 
Of so worthy a race, 

The Devil himself must be mayor ! 

Peter Pindar, Mr. ! who will be the next? 

After the flood had subsided, Deucalion and Pyrrha enquired 
of the Oracle, how mankind might be restored. They were an- 
swered, by throwing their mother's bones behind them. These, 

E 



[as] 

a Tier sonic consideration, they concluded to be the stones of 
their general mother, the earth; which they therefore picked 
up, and Hung over their heads. The stones grew warm with life 
in their progress, and became men and women:-— thus the 
world was repeopled. To this story, which is told at length by 
Ovid, Juvenal alludes: however familiar it might be to the 
Romans, it seemed necessary to open it a little to the English 
reader: and this is all my crime. Indeed, I had written a 
note on the passage, but suppressed it as superfluous: — that 
it was not so, is now apparent ; since this " gentleman/' who 
has taken upon himself to review a work of ancient litera- 
ture, is wholly ignorant of the circumstance. He supposes 
Deucalion and Pyrrha to be introduced by me, and represented 
(taking the words literally,) with " their mother's softened 
" bones, "-—in their hands, I suppose, " flying." And this is 
criticism ! 

But Juvenal adds, Pyrrha shewed the naked females to the 
males, i. e. produced the women ; (as her husband did the men ;) 
this circumstance, as of no importance to the story, was passed 
over. The Critic however is determined to bring it forward, and 
he has the impudence to assert, that I omitted it through stupi- 
dity, not an innate sense of decency. lam" torpidly incurious, 
"not sensitively timid:" and, that the charge might not be over- 
looked, it is, as usual, put in italics. I despise alike the assertor 
and the assertion ! — It is not a little singular, however, that the 
same line, from the omission of which occasion is taken to tax 
me with a predilection for impurity, is quoted by Rigaltius to 
prove that Juvenal laughed at the superior sanctity of Deucalion 



[27] 

and Pyrrlni, unci considered the latter as no better than a 



procuress ! 



quid confert purpura majus 



" Optandum, si Laurenti custodit in agro 

11 Conductas Corvinus oves? Ego possideo plus 

11 Pallante et Licinis. 

" Your boasted nobles! can they say as much? — 
" There's poor Corvinus, of patrician stock, 
" Tends, for a groat a day, a grazier's flock : 
" Tush, I can buy 'em all; Sec. 

" In this impure jargon speaks the freedman of Mr. Gifford. — 
" We invoke the manes of Phcedrus, for power to charm our 
" groveling versifier into a persuasion that the language of 
" emancipated slavery is not necessarily disgusting." p. 191. 

This, I doubt not, was thought very clever by Mr. Hamilton ;* 
but see on what fallacious foundations one fool builds up the 
reputation of another ! 

Because Phaedrus, — where did the Critic hear of his name? — 
a man of modesty and learning, celebrated for the uncommon 
elegance of his style, and the ingenuity of his apologues, was a 

* I should not have condescended to notice this man, if he had contented 
himself with being the vehicle of his agent's ribaldry: but when he comes 
forward (as I hnnu he does) and insists on its being admired, he must not ex- 
pect either his ignorance or his insignificance to screen him from the lash of 
contempt. 

E2 



[28] 

freed man, therefore his manes must be invoked to prove that the 
language of emancipated slavery is not necessarily disgusting. 
Gracious powers ! to what a despicable pitch of barbarism must 
that country be reduced, where such ineffable stupidity as this, 
is suffered to pass for criticism ! 

It was this, among many other passages, that induced my 
friends to dissuade me from noticing what would only excite a 
momentary contempt by its rancour, or commiseration by its 
folly, and be forgotten for ever. That it would so, is certain : 
nay, it is already forgotten ; and this consideration alone deter- 
mined me to drag it forward once more to notice. It is not for 
the true interests of literature, that obtrusive and malicious 
blockheads should be forgotten: — they should be gibbeted for the 
scorn of wise men, and the terror of fools. This has been always 
my opinion, and I rejoice when a name, whose impotence would 
not have preserved its rancour from oblivion for a day, is 
snatched from the gulph, and hung aloft in terrorem. Were 
this to be more frequently done, we should have fewer imperti- 
nent scribblers, and no Critical Reviews. 

I return from the digression into which the stupid analogy 
attempted to be made out between the rude and unmannerly 
gabble of the ignorant, insolent, and boastful upstart of Juvenal, 
and the refined language of the modest Phaedrus seduced 
me; his manes, I trust, will be henceforth left to their repose: 
if the Critic have any farther invocations to make on the 
subject, Plautus, or Terence, or at worst Horace, may serve 
his turn. 



I 29] 

" Ense velut stricto quoties Lucilius ardens 
11 Infremuit, rubet auditor, cui frigida mens est 
11 Criminibus, tacita sudent praecordia culpa. 
11 Inde irae et lacrymae, 8cc. 

11 But vvlien Lucilius brandishes his pen 

M And flashes in the face of guilty men, 

" A cold sweat stands in drops on every pari, 

" And rage succeeds to tears, revenge to smart. 

11 Muse be advis'd; 8cc. Dryden. 

" But when Lucilius, fired with virtuous rage, 

" Nerves his bold arm to scourge an impious age, 

11 The conscious villain shudders at his sin, 

11 And burning blushes speak the pangs within. 

" Cold drops of sweat from every member roll, 

' 5 And growing terrors harrow up his soul. 

" Then tears of shame, and dire revenge succeed. Gifford 

" Scourge is less dreadful than unsheathed falchion ; tacita 
" culpa evaporates in paraphrase," kc. p. 191. This taking a 
sentence to pieces, and commenting on the abstract meaning of 
every word, is the wretched trick of such feeble scribblers as 
have not sufficient powers of mind to comprehend and carry with 
them the meaning of a whole sentence. The Critic, indeed, seems 
inclined to overlook my version of Infremuit, " as our language 
is perhaps inadequate to its force." Nugae ! see how all this may 
be amended ; not indeed in rhyme, but in blank verse ; in which 
1 would advise all future translations of Juvenal to be made. 



[so] 

Oft as Lucilius, ardent, with drawn sword, 

Hath roar'd aloud, reddens the auditor, 

To whom a mind is cold with crimes, to whom [subaud.) 

A midriff sweats with silent faults! Hence ires, 

And tears 

Indeed Madan has nearly rendered all such attemps super- 
fluous ; and I congratulate the Critic on the persevering delight 
with which he appears to grovel over him. 

" As with a drawn sword, as often as Lucilius, ardent raged" 
here the " language is inadequate !"— the hearer reddens, who 
has a mind frigid with crimes. — Euge ! what would the world 
have more? 

With the " general" condemnation that follows I shall not 
meddle. My object is not to defend the translation, but to shew 
the incompetence of the Critic, whose inveterate malignity, by 
the way, would utterly disqualify him for a judge, were he 
abundant in the talents of which he has so " plentiful a lack." 

'*' After the strictest revision by a priest, a barrister, and a 
\< bookseller combined son linge sale a blancher, his sheets, in a 
41 single poem, are sullied by numerous spots." p. 192. Not to 
say that I afford (at least I conceive so) a solitary instance of an 
author's being insulted for the language of gratitude, I must 
observe, that in pretending to quote my words, they are guilty 
for the twentieth time, of a wanton perversion : — in plain lan- 
guage, a lie. For these " conscientious" Critics, who set down 
nothing in malice, have no objection to fabricate what they cannot 
find, to serve their " honest" purposes. 1 boast, indeed, that Mr. 



[3. ] 

Ireland revised the translation ; but of Mr. Moore, 1 '■ lament," 
(for that is my word,) that he only saw it in its progress through 
the press;— indeed, the last lour satires were never submitted 
to him : and of Mr. G. Nicol, — but will either of these gentlemen 
thank me for attempting to screen them from the attack of a 
despicable hireling, whose forgery is as apparent as his malice; 
and whose profligacy is lost in his stupidity? 

" Wit is admitted as responsive to yet." It is so by Pope and 
Dryden in numerous instances; and if it were not, it is nothing 
to me, for the " responsiveness" is not only not to be fourd in 
the first satire, as the Critic asserts, but in no part of the book ! 
* feast to guest :*' What of that? 

How pale each worshipful, each reverend guest, 

Rise from a clergy, or a city feast ! Pope. 

and so in a thousand couplets that I could quote: " raise to 
" please ;" this is a bad rhyme : it is, indeed, an oversight of the 
transcriber, which was not discovered till the whole was printed : 
this, however, the Critic could not know, and his reproof is, 
therefore, just. " Freight, weight, and heat, are inserted as a triplet ! 
In ten consecutive lines one couplet alone is correct." p. 192. 
I will quote the passage ; for by this time, I suppose, the reader's 
faith in the Critic's assertions is somewhat Aveakened : 

Who call'd, of old, so many seats his own, 
Or on seven sumptuous dishes supp'd alone ? 
Then plain, and open, was the frugal feast, 
And every client was a bidden guest; 



[32] 

Now for the scanty dole aloof they wait, 

Nay, scramble for it at the outward gate. 

And first the porter, trembling fbr his place, 

Walks round and round, and pries in every face; 

Lest, strangers to the patronage you claim, 

You take the largess in a borrow'd name ; p. 2,1. 

" The poetic license is employed with harshness. Our ears," 
— hide them, good Critic ! "are mortally wounded with, 

" Hath trimm'd the exuberance of this sounding beard." 

I cannot even now, that the " gentleman" hath so kindly held up 
his farthing candle, discover what there is in this line to wound 
his ears to death. It is given, as the note declares, as an imita- 
tion of the mock-heroic of the original, 

Quo tondente gravis juveni mihi barba sonabat, 

and I feel no inclination to change it. 

In quoting this obnoxious line the Critic has committed two 
errors ; one maliciously, to make nonsense of it ; the other 

it matters not why ; in the next, only one: "Still as he 

runs he refines," and may prove " honest" at last. To encou- 
rage him I will relieve " his grammatical feelings," and instead 
of 

When he hopes ! presumptuous ! a command ! 

allow him to read in future, 

When he, presumptuous ! hopes for a command. 



[33] 

But what would the Critic have? To make amends for the 
•' lameness and stupidity" of my version; 

When he, who oft, since manhood first appeared, 
Hath trimm'd the exuberance of this sounding beard ; 

I favoured him witli Holiday's, 

One whose officious scizzars went snip, snip. 
As he my troublesome young beard did clip. 

I now add Stapylton's, 



Who to my youthful beard, offensive grown, 
Correction with his nimble razor gave. 

And Dryden's 

by his wealth outvy'd, 

Whose razor on my callow beard was try'd. 

Humbly hoping, that one or all of those may close the mortal 
wound in his ear, made by the " griding sword" of my harshness, 
1 proceed to ask him whether he understands the passage ? If 
he does; I will then add, though at the hazard of being again 
taxed with " presumption," that he is more fortunate than any of 
the former translators, who have not at all entered into the sarcas- 
tic allusion of the original, which is only, I repeat it,only touched 
upon in my " execrable" translation ! " Work upon that now," 
as Goldwire says. 

" In his notes, which are drawn from sources of easy access, 
F 



[34 ] 

" the phraseology is contemptibly colloquial:" but how is this 
made out ? — very easily. And this is the process ! . I beseech the 
reader to mark it. The Critic ranges over six hundred closely 
printed quarto pages (twelve hundred in the present mode of 
printing) and collects the following fragments : 

Smack. Not a whit. 

Sad to see. Might be shuffled off. 

What signifies it. To be plain. 

As every one knows. A great deal. 

Bring forward. Without going too far. And 

Cannot away with. We fancy. 

I am willing to take the Critic's word (though I will not do 
it on every occasion), and allow that all these are to be found in 
the translation ; for in truth I have not the courage to examine, 
nor was such a task, I believe, ever undertaken before. But what 
is the object of all this laborious thrashing for chaff? Are not 
the same words, and combinations of words, to be found in every 
book that issues from the press? So the simple reader might 
naturally exclaim: but he knows little of the Critic's cunning. 
Surely his mother " called him Solomon in his childhood !" He 
takes these remote scraps, strings them together, and produces, 
what he is pleased to call, a specimen of Mr. Gilford's prose ! 
Here it is, as it stands in the Review : for— to be plain — what 
signifies it — when — sad to see — we — cannot away with — a great 
deal — of his verse — not a whit — less familiar — our duty — as 
every one knows — might be shuffled off — yet — as we don't sleep 



[35 ] 

for every body*— wc fancy — wc cannot refuse to— bring forward 
—glaring defects— without going a little loo far!!! p. 192. 

Is this criticism, or the malicious grin of a conceited idiot? 
But he, poor wretch, is wonderfully tickled with it, and exclaims, 
in the pride of his heart, that the " expressions marked in italic 
characters may convince the reader how strongly Mr. G. smacks 
of vulgarity, and confirms, by his example, how long one that 
smells of the stall keeps the scent !" 

In a foolish puff just issued by Mr. Hamilton, to call the at- 
tention of the public to his rickety Review, he is pleased to take 
credit for the " dignified liberalilif of its criticisms. Is this a 
specimen of it ? 

Why all this outrageous hostility? I spoke with candour of 
my predecessors ; I do not mean that mawkish good-nature 
which never introduces a name without the epithets excellent, 
admirable, %iz. for that to me has an appearance of silliness, but 
with decent freedom, more ready to praise than to blame ; and 
solicitous, above all things, of truth. I did not think I had pro- 
voked a single enemy,— no, not even the ferocious hordes of the 
Critical Review, whose abuse, notwithstanding, I anticipated 
wiili equal certainty and contempt. But I am " presumptuous," 
it seems : hinc iree ! When I have had occasion to mention 
myself, or my publication, it has been done with manly modesty. 
Assuredly, it was never in my mind to come sneakingly forward, 

* Of all these detached pieces I recollect but this one. It is a translation of a 
Latin proverb, " non omnibus dormio :" and the object was to render it (as all 
proverbs should be rendered) by a familiar expression of correspondent import. It 
is given in the notes, p. 16, as a proverb, and nothing more ; this the Critic had 
the honesty (to use his own language,) to suppress. 

F3 



[36] 

and sue for praise in forma pauperis; nor, on the other hand, 
was I disposed to submit in silence to wanton defamation, and 
gratuitous injustice. On this latter account, I now inform the 
Reviewer, that in asserting the notes on Juvenal to be " drawn 
11 from sources of easy access," he is either deliberately false, or 
ignorantly presumptuous : I incline to the last supposition, for 
a more poverty-struck scribbler never disgraced the press. 

I have yet a word to say on the notes : to attempt a refutation 
of the charge of " vulgarity" would be superfluous ; it is only 
brought against them by this Critic : by writers of a different 
stamp, the language in which they are composed is said to be 
light, elegant, and easy. 

Since my dear soul was mistress of herself, 
And could of books distinguish 

I have been principally conversant with those of the best age of 
English literature : I shall not, perhaps, gain much credit for 
judgment, in saying that the period to which I allude is from the 
last years of Elizabeth to the death of James. I know it is now an 
inveterate custom to sneer at the name of James ; and that every 
witling thinks himself competent to scoff at his witches, his 
tobacco-blasts, and his dog stenie : but the age 1 have mentioned 
produced something better than all these ; and, amongst the 
rest, great masters of a style pure, copious, elegant, nervous, 
flowing, light, airy, and harmonious. These I have studied: if 
without profit, it is not from want of industry, but of ability; 
and I never could perceive, either that they shunned the use 
of familiar phrases, and such as were employed in ordinary 



[37 ] 

conversation ; or, that if they did, their language was much 
improved by it. 

This had not escaped the observation of Dryden. Every 
reader — I speak from my own feelings; but I presume that every 
reader of his prose works, has experienced a sweetness that hung 
upon his mind; a nameless something that operated as a spell, 
and seduced him onward. The principal agent in this powerful 
necromancy is the frequent and judicious interspersion of words 
and phrases in common use. In extent and variety of learning, 
Dryden is surpassed by many; in consistency and truth, by 
more. Less is to be gleaned from his criticisms than a careless - 
reader would imagine ; yet what reader of taste ever laid him 
down without regret. If this be true of his prose, it is no less 
so of his verse : " truth," as Shakspeare says, " is truth to the end 
of the reckoning ;" it cannot therefore be more true; but cer- 
tainly the poetry of Dryden has a greater portion of colloquial 
language diffused through it, than his prose. How much of the 
irresistible sweetness of his fables arises from this cause! the 
mind is insensibly led on : it is soothed, it is lulled into a deli- 
cious languor by terms familiar to it ; by combinations which 
are instantly acknowledged ; not jolted and startled, as in some 
of the admired writings of the present clay, where harsh and 
affected inversions encumber every page. It is as pleasant to 
dance barefoot over Derbyshire spar, as to pore upon many of 
our popular compositions, which, like the prose of Gibbon,* and 

* Accustomed to think for myself ; I have a kind of contempt for a cockatoo 
critic, who merely repeats another's words. In the introductory sentence to this 
egregious Review, my " self-complacency," — G — knows why — unless it be that 






[38] 

the poetry of Darwin are stuck full of points and sparkles, that 
dazzle and confound the sight no less than the judgment. 

To return to the Critical Reviewers. • A compliment to Juvenal 
gives occasion to fresh insults on his unfortunate translator. 
11 Mr. Gifford — good man — in the simplicity of his heart — is 
" rarely— -guilty of the crime of poetry." With this deplorable 
attempt at wit ends the list of my u merits." They are at length 
arrived, they say, at my " defects, which crowd upon them in 
" such overwhelming multitudes, that to pass through them 
" without cursory animadversion is impracticable." Nov. 321- 

What were the difficulties of" passing through" the crowded 
streets of Rome (so fully depicted in the third Satire,) compared 
to those of my miserable Critic ! 

ferit hie cubito, ferit assere duro 



Alter, at hie lignum capiti incutit, ille metretam ; 

but his shoulders are broad, and his scull of a comfortable 
thickness ! 

The first " defect" is a superabundance of indecency. In every 
other part Mr. G. has not so much " translated as travestied" 
Juvenal, " but in his indelicacies, he has rendered him with 

our names begin with the same letter, is said to be scarcely exceeded by that of 
the luminous " Gibbon." The luminous Gibbon ! He is indeed luminous, to such 
as bring to his work a greater portion of information than himself possessed ; 
but is he so to this purblind Reviewer! The luminous Gibbon, in short, is one 
of the obscurest writers in the English language, affectedly so : — hints, inuendos, 
paraphrastic designations occur in every page of his latter volumes ; and un- 
less the reader be previously acquainted with the subject, he will seldom know 
about whom, or what, the author is writing. 



[39] 

" licentious fidelity. Even this," it adds, " might be pardoned; 
41 but when lie complacently enlarges on subjects of nauseating 
11 crapule" — what stuff is this ! — " Mr. G. saving his reverence, 
" must be reminded, Sec. His vain affectation of delicacy ill 
11 atones for profanely introducing the crucifixion of the divine 
" founder of Christianity to elucidate a frightful narrative of 
" heathen debaucheries." 321. 

By what authority does this man assert that my respect for 
delicacy is either vain or affected? Let him look to himself; 
every word that he has here set down is a gross and wilful per- 
version of the truth. Far from profanely introducing the crucifixion, 
I have mentioned it with deep-felt awe ; and instead of eluci- 
dating the profane by the sacred narrative, endeavoured (as the 
most pious and learned biblical commentators of all ages have 
done,) to elucidate the sacred by the profane ; the only, or, at 
least, the chief object for which heathen literature merits to be 
sedulously explored ! And what will the reader say, when he 
learns that " this frightful narrative of debauchery" is neither 
less nor more than mingling myrrh or some similar perfume with 
wine? But I will give the passage : the Critic, as is already said, 
shall find no subterfuge for his malicious falsehoods in studied 
suppression. 

Cum perfusa mero spumaiit unguenta Falerno. 
" And froths with unguents her Falernian cups. 

"This most extravagant custom of pouring precious ointments 
into wine, and drinking tbem off together, is mentioned in terms 
of great indignation by the elder Pliny." Extracts (but of trie 



[40] 

most inoffensive nature) are then given from him, from Martial, 
^Elian, 8cc. and the note proceeds thus ; " it is not very easy to 
conceive the motives for this singular practice, to which I have 
just alluded. Savage nations, it is well known, are fond of having 
recourse to the most nauseous mixtures for the sake of procuring 
a temporary delirium : strong infusions of aromatic ointments 
in wine are said to produce giddiness : and it is not altogether 
improbable, but that this corrupt and profligate people (as the 
extremes of barbarism and .refinement sometimes meet) might be 
influenced by considerations of a similar nature, to adopt so 
disgusting and extravagant an expedient, for the mere purpose of 
accelerating and heightening the effects of intoxication. 

" 1 would not -lightly introduce sacred matters ; but I wish to 
observe here, that the Jews were accustomed to give condemned 
persons a draught of wine and myrrh. This is apparent from the 
last scene of our blessed Saviour's life. St. Mark calls the wine 
which they gave him, nr^via-^vov avov (wine prepared with myrrh). 
This was according to the usual practice; and the merciful pur- 
pose of it was to stupify the feelings of the sufferer." Juv. 197. 

What is there here profanely introduced ! These are charges 
that I will not hear in silence, even from this miserable agent of 
malevolence. That I can " neither write verse nor prose," 
I would as soon be told by him as by another; I have heard 
it all and more from Parsons and Jerningham, from Morley and 
Weston ; and though it might discompose my muscles, it never 
disturbed the serenity of my mind — but, to tax me with impiety 
in the face of my own proofs to the contrary, is extending the 
"licence of the " society" to rail, insult, calumniate, and belie, 
somewhat too far ! 



["' ] 

The next charge is of (he same nature. I have "dwelt on a 
"detestable passage, and indulged my fondness for nauseating 
crapule" in a note on the ninth Satire. The detestable passage, 
which is fortunately pointed out, is, candelam apponere valvis; 
the crapulous note follows. 

" As I would have the reader pass over this satire as lightly 
as possible, I have studiously avoided detaining him by notes, kc. 
I cannot, however, resist the temptation of laying before him 
one short specimen of the perverse pruriency of the old critics. 
What I have translated " fire," is, in the original, candelam appo- 
nere valvis, a simple phrase, hardly possible to be misunderstood, 
for setting a house on fire : yet hear D. Calderinus ; candelam 
apponere valvis, i. e. produci, hoc supplicii genus notavk 
Catullus : 

Ah, turn te miserum malique faii, 
Quern attractis pedibus, patente porta, 
Percurrent raphanique, mugilesque. 

Pa ten (em portam dixit Catullus, ut valvam Juvenalis, Upon 
which Britannicus remarks with surprising gravity ; domum ac- 
cendere adhibita candela ; hoc magis placet quam ut intelligas 
candelam per inferiora immissam : illud enim minime letale esset 
supplicium." p. 316. 

This " nauseating crapule," as the reader sees, is in Latin, so 
that no great injury can accrue from it to those for whom the 
translation was chiefly made. But it is time to be serious : the note 
is perfectly innocent, and might be presented to the purest mind, 
without exciting a shadow of disgust. It relates to a species of 

G 



[42] 

punishment for adulterers, mentioned not only by Juvenal, but 
by almost every writer in the Greek and Roman languages. If 
it did not contain a play on words which have no correspondent 
relation in English, I would translate it. 

As Nasvolus could entertain no fears of a punishment of this 
nature, it is obvious that the words " perverse pruriency" allude 
to the inveterate itch of commenting, which could produce so 
absurd a meaning from a plain and simple passage; and to 
nothing more. But the Critic, seeing the word pruriency, and 
unable to read the rest of the note, imagined that he had found a 
mare's nest ; and, with the conceited complacency of his brother 
blockhead in the play, exclaimed. "Call up the right master 
Constable:" call up Mr. Hamilton ; "we have here recovered the 
most dangerous piece of lechery that ever was known in the 
commonwealth!" 

This is the-favourable side of the Critic's conduct : if he could 
read the note, he is the most infamous miscreant that ever dis- 
graced himself in the Critical Review ; — et c'est beaucoup 
dire. 

Not content with this, he immediately adds, in his vile jargon, 
that u the translator seems to trace a labyrinth of disgust con 
amore." p. 32,1 . Say you so, Sir? — To such unprovoked attacks 
what fitting return can be made ? That you are a fool and a liar 

is abundantly proved ; let me now add- If you will permit Mr. 

Hamilton to pull the crape from your face, I will speak out ; but as 
you have the gloomy ferocity, so you have the guilty cowardice, 
of the footpad ; and I shall never know you. 

We now come again to the poetry — no, not poetry, but to 



[43] 

" tlie vulgar prose" divided into lines of ten or twelve syllables : 
the couplet, 

11 O for an eagle's wings ! for I could fly 
11 To the bleak regions of the polar sky, 

4 ' is, forsooth, no fortunate commencement". 3521 . 

The delicacy of this paltry scribbler is so exquisite, that he 
trembles lest the word " forsooth" should be attributed to him, 
and therefore carefully marks it as a quotation. But has the 
reader discovered the " uncommon carelessness" which the Critic 
" discerns" in these lines ? If he has, I honestly confess his 
sagacity to be greater than mine. Perhaps Dryden's version 
may assist him in the search : 

I'm sick of Rome, and wish myself convey'd 
Where freezing seas obstruct the merchant's trade. 

I should however do the Critic an injury, if 1 failed to inform 
the reader that the passage above quoted is meant for wit ! 
should this too escape him, the writer will be peculiarly unfor- 
tunate : 

By his curs'd stars, doom'd all his life in vain 
To struggle with a stranguary of brain. 

11 The spirited line, 

" Quis tulerit Gracchos de seditione querentes? 

" Who could bear the Gracchi complaining of sedition? is thus 
" diluted, 

G2 



[44] 

all must hear, the while, 

4k The Gracchi rail at faction, with a smile." 

This is not very animated, it must he confessed; and, indeed, 
if this, and a hundred other passages, had been pointed out by a 
man of sense, in the true spirit of criticism, I should have kissed 
the rod in silence, and bent all my faculties to improve by the 
correction ; but when an illiterate bully, like the present, mingles 
obloquy and insult with his tritical remarks, he excites no feelings 
but those of disgust and aversion, unless where he is happily 
secured from both by contempt. The observation, such as it is, 
had been anticipated by others, long before the Critic picked it 
up; but the artifice of altering the pointing in order to make the 
passage nonsense, is exclusively his own. 

The next couplet is reprobated on account of the frequent 
recurrence of the W. If I fall into alliteration, it is accidentally; 
the most incurious reader may see that my writings are not re- 
markable for a gratuitous display of rhetorical figures; but as I 
do not affectedly seek, so neither do I squeamishly avoid them. 
Assuredly I shall never reject a proper word, because that im- 
mediately preceding it begins with the same letter. If a cacophony 
be produced, it is a fit subject for reprehension: but of this, 
with " reverence" be it said, I think myself, at least, as good a 
judge as the Critic : — this, indeed, is not saying much; for with 
one so completely ignorant of English literature, I do not re- 
member to have met. It is but fair, however, to quote the pas- 
sage to which he objects. 



[45 ] 

»' Why Wait We? Ice 

" Do Wc, kc." Sat. ii. 176. 

Would the reader believe, if he had not already witnessed the 
infamous conduct of this man, that he has altered Ike lines to 
serve his detestable purpose, and that they stand thus in the 
translation? 

Why wait They ? Sec. 
Do They, Sec. ! ! ! 

Is this " setting down nothing in malice?" What think you of 
it, Mr. Hamilton? 

O Proceres, censore opus est, an haruspice nobis? 
O ye nobles, have we occasion for a censor, or for a 
soothsayer? Mada.n. 

In the translation of this passage the Critic's indignation is 
kindled at the repetition of the word do; he has heard it termed 
an expletive ; and therefore concludes it can never be any 
thing more — but do is sometimes emphatic : 

And do we now, O Peers, a censor need, 
Or an aruspex ! 

So the passage is given by me: the Critic, whose end it would 
not fully answer in this form, has again recourse to his " honest" 
arts, and falsifies the line ! He prints, 

11 And do we not, O Peers, a censor need, 

" Or an Aruspex! Do not, Sec." p. 322. 



[46] 

By which two excellent objects are attained ; first, the passage 
is made very much like nonsense ; and. secondly, as not appears 
in the second line, it gives a greater air of" carelessness" to the 
translation ; and both together tend admirably to prove, as 
before, that " nothing is set down in malice." 

" The mighty Mr. G. does" — what is become of the Critic's 
horror of expletives, so prevalent in the last sentence? "The 
" mighty Mr. G. does not condescend to applaud Johnson's imita- 
" tions in his notes either to the third or to the tenth Satire." 
p. 322. 

Why the mighty Mr. G. ? Is it another specimen of that 
" dignified liberality," by which, as Mr. Hamilton assures us, 
the Critical Review is distinguished! 

It is possible to tell a lie in the words of truth, and this " gen- 
tleman" is a proficient in the mystery. If he intended to convey 
any meaning, it must be, that through vanity, or some worse 
motive, all mention of Johnson's imitations is omitted. Of such 
translations of Juvenal as I was acquainted with, I spoke with 
unaffected liberality ; but of the innumerable modernizations of 
the author, it never was my design to treat. Yet this " honest" 
Critic (I cannot repeat the words too often) knew that I had 
frequently mentioned Johnson, and with the respect due to his 
name ; nay, what is still more, that I had spoken of his imita- 
tions, in the only place where it could be done with propriety ; 
in the Essay on Satire. There, after several quotations from 
him, I add, " Johnson knew Juvenal well. The peculiarity, he 
says, of this author, is a mixture of gaiety and stateliness, of 
pointed sentences and declamatory grandeur. — A good idea of it 



[41 ] 

may be formed from his own beautiful imitation oj the third 
satire. His imitation of the tenth, [still more beautiful as 
a poem) has scarcely a trait of the author's manner."* p. lxi. 
With this passage, and several others staring him in the face, 
could the Critic descend to the baseness of insinuating that " the 
" mighty Mr. Gilford has not deigned to notice Johnson !" — And 
this too, " is setting down nothing in malice." 

11 Quid Romas faciam? mentiri ncscio : librum 
M Si malus est, ncqueo laudare, et poscere. 

" What can I do at Rome ? I know not how to lie : if a poem 
11 be bad, 1 am not able to praise, and ask for a copy of it. 

Madan. 
" What's Rome to me, what bus'ness have I there? 
" I, who can neither lie, nor falsely swear: 
" Nor praise my patron's undeserving rhymes, 
" Nor yet comply with him, nor with his times. Dryden 

11 What should I do at Rome ? I know not, I, 

" To cog and flatter ; I could never lie ; 

" Nor, when I heard a great man's verses, smile, 

11 And beg a copy, if I thought them vile." Gifford. 

To this there are numerous objections. The first is the re- 
duplication of the pronoun, which is styled " an inelegance." 
To the Critic who has no other ideas of elegance than those 

* That is to say, of that " mixture of gaiety and stateliness" which, according 
to his own definition, constitutes the "peculiarity of Juvenal." Johnson's tenth 
Satire, admirable as it is, is uniformly severe, and without those light and popular 
strokes of sarcasm which abound so much in the third. 



[48] 

which he has gleaned in the school of Crusca, it may appear so ; 
to me, whose studies have taken a different direction, it has no 
such aspect. It is to be found in all our ancient writers, and 
from Shakspeare alone, I could, if it were necessary, bring as 
many examples as would fill the page. That it may be obsolete 
is granted: but the question, and one which it requires. talents 
somewhat above the Critic's to determine, is, whether it deserves 
to be so ; and whether, at a moment when our language is pol- 
luted and debased by quaint and affected neologisms, it may not 
be excusable to attempt the revival of some part, at least, of the 
old and genuine simplicity. 

The Critic's delicacy, however, reminds me of that of the 
poor savages of New Holland, who snuffed up the odour of 
rotten blubber with great delight, but turned with every mark of 
abhorrence from the smell of wholesome bread : " subjects of 
nauseating crapule" he swallows with avidity ; but " I know 
not, I," absolutely turns his stomach. 

The next objection is to " cog." " Mrs. Ford," says Falstaff, "I 
cannot cog" I cannot wheedle; — is this sufficient? but the 
Critic, perhaps, was dreaming of cogging a wheel or a" die ! — 
The third is to the word lie ; it is a very good word ; and I hope 
I have applied it properly, not only here, but elsewhere. 

So much at present for his English: come we now to his 
Latin. " Inelegance here is only exceeded by tameness, the 
" single word poscere> swells into two lifies." p. 322. Poscere, is 
literally translated into " beg a copy ;" two words instead of two 

lines! Ah, Sir! but to be serious: if you are not the last of 

fools, you must be the first of knaves. I believe, in my conscience, 



[49] 

you are both ; and am sometimes sorry that I ever dirtied my 
fingers with you. — But that you should escape with impunity ! 
— no ! I cannot bear that. 

" Exeat, inquit, 
" Si pudor est, et de pulvino surgat equestri 
11 Cujus res legi non sufficit ; et sedeant hie 
" Lenonum pueri quocunque in fornice nati. 

" Up ! Up ! those cushion'd benches, Lectius cries, 

11 Are not for such as you : for shame ! arise." 

" Not such?" — but you say well; the pander's heir, 
The spawn of bulks and stews, is stationed there. 

" This flippancy is intolerable." 

It consists, as the reader sees, in rendering Quocunque in 
fornice nati, " the spawn of bulks and stews." The Critic, who 
construed the passage by his vocabulary, nati born, in in, quo- 
cunque whatever, fornice vault, is justly enraged at this, and 
lays about him in a surprising manner. Let not the English 
reader, however, make himself miserable about it ; he may be 
assured that my " flippancy," is not greater than that of Juvenal ; 
who could not have found terms more expressive of his contempt 
for this generation of " low-born, cell-bred," upstarts, than those 
he uses, and I have faithfully translated. " But amidst his 
11 bulks and stews, Mr. GifFord forgets his more serious business, 
" and deprives the English reader of Cujus res legi non sufficit." 

If it were so, it were a grievous fault, 
And grievously hath Caesar answered it ; 
H 



[ 50] 

Not to observe that the whole of this passage is explained in a 
very long historical note ; it may be sufficient to mention, that 
the sense of the hemistich he regrets, is to be found only two 
lines below those he quotes. Does the " learned" Critic think 
that I translated Juvenal as he read him, with an ordo verborum 
in my hand ! 

44 But Mr. G. follows preceding translators principally in 
" faults. We exemplify by an amusing specimen." I am glad, 
Sir, you can be so amused : 



Joy in your flippant folly, and remain 

A simpering blockhead, impotent and vain. 



" Lectus erat Codro Procula minor. Juvenal remarks only 
" that the bed of Codrus was too short* for Procula." Was ever 
man so correct? lectus a bed, erat was, Codro to Codrus, minor, 
too short, Procula for Procula. Euge ! the ushers of Camberwell, 
and Walham-Green can do nothing like this. " This translator 
44 imitating Holyday" — Mr. Hamilton may thank me, perhaps, 
for hinting, that it will be adviseable for his '* society of gentle- 
" men" to steer clear of Holyday — 4 ' measures the lady also, 
" and adds that Codrus had no other bed." 

Codrus had but one bed, and that more short 
Than his short wife, 8cc. 

* Too short ! the absurd gravity with which this poor creature delivers his 
modicums of wisdom, is truly laughable. He sees minor rendered too short in out 
versions, and therefore pompously affirms it to be so. — Thereal meaning however, 
(as every one knows,) is too small — probably to hold himself and Procula. The 
translators saw the poet's drift, of which, the Critic has in no instance obtained a 
single glimpse ; and to aggravate the poverty of Codrus, exchanged one ridiculous 
circumstance for another. This is all. 



The notion that Codrus had but one bed, then, is mine in 
your " reverend" judgment ! I am peculiarly circumstanced with 
the Critical Reviewers. IF there be a wretch in the kingdom pro- 
fligate above the common rate, he is hired to tniducc my character; 
if there be a day-hack, ignorant and brutal beyond credibility, he 
is selected to abuse my works. If Codrus had more beds than 
one, what becomes of his poverty? — but this is trifling: there is 
not a school-boy in the kingdom, who does not know that the 
words lectus erat Codro, have, nay can have no other meaning 
than that which I have given them. 

With respect to the height of his wife, I will not, as Panurge 
says, put my fingers in the fire about it. I never measured her, 
notwithstanding the Critic's assertion ; no more, perhaps, did he. 
— All I can say on this momentous affair is, that the commen- 
tators and translators, out of wantonness perhaps, have generally 
agreed in taking the name for a diminutive : — but something may 
be learned from a fool, especially from a meddling fool : If I live 
to reprint the translation for" his short wife," I will say Procula. 

" To the ear of Bavius alone can share and war, past and 
" chaste, care and bar, amidst a maze of sounds linked in equal 
11 harmony, seem sweetest unisons." p. 234. This jargon is not 
easily understood: if all, however, that is meant by it be, that 
the rhymes here adduced are not sweetest unisons, it is freely 
granted: but by what poet were they ever rejected on that 
account? By none that I know; and yet I may boast, without 
vanity, of an acquaintance with them, somewhat more extensive 
than the Critic's. However this be, I am a hardened offender* 

* The Critic adds, " under the shadow of a note," " We must attempt to 
** shame Mr. G. by a discovery that, in four hundred, more than one hundred 



[52] 

in these cases ; and should no more think of rejecting such 
rhymes as past and chaste in a work of length, than of taking 
the Critic's opinion on this or any other subject. In a sonnet I 
might be more nice ; nay, were I even to publish two riddles and 
an acrostic, like Mr. Parsons, I might perhaps look round for 
more perfect tags: but in a collection of satires, a collection too 
of six thousand lines, better objects may justly occupy the writer's 
attention, and nobler game the Critic's, than such miserable mi- 
nutiae. Not so, thinks the " gentleman" of the Critical Review: 
he absolutely foams at the mouth ; and, as he cannot wound me 
with his teeth, madly attempts to fling his slaver over me. These 
examples, he cries, ¥ will excite every scholar to hope that for- 
" tune may rather reduce this eleve of Crispin to his ancient craft, 
" than allow that he should" write again, p. 324. 

This was so imperiously called for by the occasion, is so 
much in the spirit of true criticism, and so exquisite a specimen 
of that " dignified liberality," which distinguishes Mr. Hamilton's 
Review, that I think it but justice to the " gentlemanly" feelings 
which dictated it, to observe, once for all, that if with my present 
means, whatever they be, I subject myself to the power of " for- 
tune," I not only deserve to be reduced to my " ancient craft," 
but, what I consider as infinitely more degrading, to write like 
this poor wretch, for bread, or rather for infamy, in the Critical 
Review. 

" and fifty pages are incorrect in the circumstance of rhyming !" I must attempt to 
shame the Critic in my turn, by il discovering" that Mr. Bulmer's devil, (for all 
his journeymen turned with ineffable scorn from the dirty job,) affirmtd, on his 
honour, that after a close examination of several days, with Truster's rhymes in 
his h: nd, he could find but one hundred and forty nine ! Who now will trust the 
Critic ? 



[53] 

All (Ills fury is lavished on the translation of the third Satire. 
In an unobtrusive note, (p. Ixiv.) 1 ventured to observe it was '* the 
•* only one which had escaped a* "ion." Twenty years after it 
was written,* it was found amongst »*Ir. Ireland's papers, copied 
from my school-exercise ; and I confess — to my shame, as the 
Critic will affirm — that I felt a slight visitation of pride, in print- 
ing it " with all its imperfections on its head." I said to myself, 
some generous spirit, some liberal protector of indigent industry 
struggling with difficulties in the laborious pursuit of knowledge, 
may be curious — may be pleased, perhaps, to see what could 
be done after an education of eighteen months, by the help of 
such poor aids, as a country school of no reputation, could sup- 
ply. All this I thought; but I made no parade of it, not even to 
my dearest friend: nor would the circumstance have been ever 
mentioned by me, had not the Reviewer with an ungenerous and 
unfeeling triumph over my situation, dragged forward this very sa- 
tire, and commented upon it with all the virulence of insolent bruta- 
lity, as an impartial specimen of Mr.Gifford's general manner. 



tnstes 



" Personam, thyrsumque tenent. 

11 we observe most curiously amplified : 

" Sicken for business, and assume the airs, 

" The dress, and so forth, — of their favourite play rs." p. 171. 

•Yet the Critic has the " honesty" to print in italics, that this very satire cost 
me, in my own words, " twenty years solicitude" ! ! ! This is so much like a trick 
of Mr Parsons in his observations on the Masviad, (see p. 24,) that I am almost 
tempted to cry out, aut P. aut Diabolus! Yet Mr. Parsons, I am inform- I, has 
been at school lately ; he cannot therefore bj so grossly ignorant as my Reviewer, 
and. must stand acquitted of this egregious performance. 



[54 ] 

What you have observed, Sir, you have told : I have now 
somewhat to observe, in my turn; — It is that you have, with 
deliberate baseness, sunk that part of the original to which the 
passage marked alludes. In Juvenal it stands thus : 



tnstes 



" Personam thyrsumque tenent, et subligar Acci. 

This " subligar of the player,"' which Holyday translates a truss, 
Stapylton, a c — piece, and Dryden borrowed breeches, I passed 
over, as the reader sees, little solicitous of rendering word for 
word, where the general sense was sufficiently expressed. Yet 
could this " honest" Critic, with the verse before him, stop 
short in the midst, and, between a subterfuge and a lie, stammer 
out that I had amplified the part he had quoted, though he knew 
the words printed in italics, belonged to what he had suppressed ! 

I am now sneered at, and for the third or fourth time, for 
" boasting" of having raised Juvenal. It is necessary to explain 
this. 

The passage beginning, Nam prseter pelagi casus, Sec. is thus 
translated : 

First from a cloud that heav'n all o'er-cast, 

With glance so swift the subtle lightning past 

As split the sail yards ; trembling, and half dead 

Each thought the blow was levell'd at his head. 

The flaming shrouds so dreadful did appear, 

All judg'd a wreck could no proportion bear. 

So fancy paints, so does the poet write 

When he would work a tempest to the height. Dryden. 



[U] 

For not the gods' inevitable fire, 

The surging billows that to heaven aspire, 

Alone perdition threat; black clouds arise, 

And blot out all the splendour of the skies : 

Loud and more loud the thunder's voice is heard, 

And sulphurous fires Hash dreadful on the yard. — 

Then shrunk the crew, and, fix'd in wild amaze, 

Saw the rent sails burst into sudden blaze; 

While shipwreck, late so dreadful, now appear'd 

A refuge from the flames, more hoped than fear'd. 

Horror on horror ! earth, and sea, and skies, 

Convuls'd, as when poetic tempests rise. Gifford. 

Of these lines a friend observed, that they were too elevated 
for the original. I acquiesced in this opinion, but did not alter 
them. Apprehending, however, that tlie same objection, might be 
made by others, I endeavoured to obviate it by hinting my fears, 
not arrogant boasts, as the Critic, with equal falsehood and 
malignity, insinuates, that it was "perhaps (for that is my ex- 
pression) raised a little :" and I modestly proceeded to account 
for it. 

11 In the twelfth satire,'* I add, " and in that alone, the style is, 
perhaps, raised a little : but it appeared so contemptible a per- 
formance in the doggrel of Dryden's coadjutor, that I thought 
somewhat more attention than ordinary was in justice due to it ; 
it is not a chef-d'oeuvre by any means; but it is a pretty and a 
pleasing little poem, deserving more notice than it has usually 
received." p. lxiv. 



[56] 

By this I flattered myself the objection would be, not indeed 
done away, but weakened : for I must confess that, though fully 
aware of the rancour of the Critical Reviewers, and sensible that 
every thing which falsehood and detraction could produce, 
would be directed against me, I was not provided against so 
impudent a perversion of my words. 

What now does the Critic ? He omits what I have quoted, 
and gives the lines which immediately follow, "as a proof how 
" I have raised Juvenal :" 

11 This danger past, another does succeed, 

" Again with pity, and attention heed : 

11 No less this second, tho' of different kind. Drvden. 

" But lo, another danger! list again, 

" And pity, though 'tis of the self-same strain." 

GlFFQRD. 

The couplet is poor enough ; yet if it be considered as a faithful 
version of one of the poorest passages in Juvenal, it may escape 
the virulence of censure. This is the original ; 

Genus ecce ! aliud discriminis ; audi 



Et miserere iterum, quanquam sint csetera sortis 
Ejusdem. 

This is followed by a quotation from the ninth Satire, the ob- 
jections to which, I do not understand. It seems by the Critic's 
italics as if he thought no verse should begin with a W, for he 
has carefully fixed a mark of reprobation on such as do, though 



[57] 

at the distance of five lines from one another ! jlayd too is 
marked out for reprobation : this however arises from ignorance 
of the story to whichJuvenal alludes. Ravola and Usurer are also 
stigmatized; i.e. o in the one, and u in the other! Imagining 
the spelling to be wrong, I ran for my Dillworth; but I now 
perceive that the words, in the Critic's opinion, should be written 
Rav'la and Us'rer! Pope laughs at the " word-catcher who 
lives on syllables :" with what ineffable contempt would he have 
regarded this wretched vermin, who only lives on letters! 

But the passage begins, " What, all amort !" This throws the 
Critic again into a lit of raving. 

All-amort is sneeringly called a classical word, and said to 
be introduced by me into our vocabulary, p. 325. Did the poor 
man never look into Shakspeare? 

What, all amort ! Henry VI. 

What, sweeting, all amort ! Taming the Shrew. 

What, all amort ! Ram-Alley. 

What, Sophos, all amort ! W r iley Beguiled. 

No, I am all amort ! P. of Love. 

Indeed, I scarce know an author of any celebrity who has not 
made frequent use of this phrase, which the critic finds, for the 
first time, in the translation of Juvenal! 

This is not all: the happy discovery absolutely turns his 
brain ; and now nothing will satisfy him but a wide range over 
the volume, in quest of more oc-kuP xeyopsvu, words which are 
coined by " the learned translator, for the purpose of enriching 
" our language." Of these he finds, besides amort, 

I 



[58 j 

liuh! hull! huisch. 

by loads. hot and hot. 

vinewed. voids his brains, 

very humorous. so ardent withal ; and 

spawl. tossed off. 

These '* novelties," as the Critic calls them, remembering with 
what success he had exhibited a complete specimen of my prose, 
(see p. 34) he strings together, as before, and produces another 
fair example of" Mr. Giffbrd's manner of writing." 

" This classic word amort tempts us to mention that our 
" learned translator, who has been long anxious to correct the 
" depravity ol iht public taste* — designs to enrich our vocabulary , 
« i s — very humorous — and so ardent withal — that he has spawled 
" — hot and hot, and — tossed off- — many other exquisite novel- 
" ties. He — voids his brain — his — vinewed-brain, — by loads — 
" huisch — huh! huh! p. 32,5." Despicable driveller! Tosay that 
your abortive af tempt at wit is neither grammar nor sense, would 
perhaps be doing you no injury in the mind of your employer, 
who appears to estimate the talents of his " society of gentlemen," 
by the quantities of dirt they are capable of flinging : but, (or 
the amusement of the public, it may not be unnecessary to 

* This is the second time, Sir, that you have quoted this sentence, and falsely 
firmed it to be spoken by me of my own intentions. The passage is not in 
the translation of Juvenal, as you know ; it is in the Baviad (p. xivj, and stands 
thus: " I waited with patience — for some- one abler than myself to step forth to 
corr.-tthe growing depravity of the public taste !" Have you no shame, no fear 
of detection ? Are you so completely skreencd in the Critical Review, as to 
hazard in every page, what, if you were known, would at once exclude you 
from society ? — 



[59] 

examine your pretensions to judge of such words as I have intro- 
duced into the language. 

11 The musty fragments of his vine-wed bread," vinewed, (as 
Johnson says,) and as every one but this malignant idiot knows, 
is mouldy; the word, perhaps, I should have chosen, if it had 
not been too near in sound to musty \ — and yet I know not, for 
vinewed is more expressive of the original, and, at least, as 
good English as musty, or as any word In the language. 

11 Spawl" — this too is pure English ; it is used by Dryden,and 
Pope, and Swift, and by almost every writer in the language. 
Johnson gives several examples; yet this purblind hack sets 
it down among the " novelties" with which I have " enriched 
our vocabulary." 

In theCurculio of Plautus, a lover anxious to obtain an inter- 
view with his mistress, who is closely watched by an old woman, 
sprinkles the door posts and threshold of her house with wine, 
that the odour of it may draw forth the duenna. His stratagem 
succeeds; and she enters upon the stage, snuffing the scent. The 
original is excellent : 

* Flos veteris, k.c. 
Bawd. 'Tis good old wine I scent. — 

The love I bear it draws me through the dark ; 
Where'er it stands 'tis near, — O ho! I have it. 
All hail, my soul ! joy of my Bacchus, hail ! 
O how I do adore thy aged age ! 
The smell of rich perfume's to thee a stink, 
Thou art to me my myrrh, my cinnamon, 



[ 60] 

My rose, my saffron ointment, my sweet cassia, 

My perfume of Arabia; whcresoe'er 

Thou spreads't thy sweets, let me be buried. 

Bonnel Thornton. 

This, though good, seemed scarcely just to the author, and 
I therefore ventured to retranslate it : 

Old W. Huh ! huh ! the flower, the sweet flower of old wine 
Salutes my nostrils ; and my passion for it 
Hurries me, darkling, hither. Where, O where, 
Is the dear object, sure 'tis near: — Ye gods! 
Ye gracious gods! I have it. Life of my life! 
Soul of my Bacchus ! how I dote upon 
Thy ripe old age ! the fragrance of all spices 
Is puddle, filth to thine. Thou ! thou ! to me 
Art roses, saffron, spikenard, cinnamon, 
Frankincense, oil of myrrh! where thou art found, 
There would I live and die, and there be buried ! 

Here this harpy of a Reviewer lays his impure talons on huh ! 
huh ! " It is forsooth a vulgar coinage of the learned translator's." 
Is it so ! There is a certain comedy called Plutus, written by one 
Aristophanes, if the Critic ever heard of him : — to say the truth, 
it was wiitten by Aristophanes, whether he ever heard of him or 
not. This man then was reckoned a very elegant writer by the 
Reviewers ot his days, (it is needless to add they were not Critical 
Reviewers,) yet he introduces a sycophant scenting the smell of 
roast meat, and uttering himself in this manner: 



[61 ] 

11 Hull! liuli! hull! huh!" 8cc. through a complete scnarian 
verse. Upon which Vossius, after some previous remarks, observes, 
11 Lepide Aristophanes in Pluto inducit sycophantam olfacientem 
sacrificiorum nidorem, qui totum senarium naribus absolvit : 
Huh, huh!" 8cc. 

Thus, what was used by the most elegant of the Attic poets, 
and praised as full of wit and humour, by one of the most 
learned of commentators, is condemned as a " vulgarity," by a 
conceited blockhead, because he imagines it to be " coined" by 
me ! 

But though this poor creature was ignorant of its having been 
used before, it had not escaped the notice of very good writers 
in our own language. " A pig," says the fanatical hypocrite in 
Ben. Jonson, (a man of uncommon learning and sagacity,) " may 
offer itself to the sense by way of steam, which I think it doth 
in this place ; huh ! huh ! yes it doth. And it were a sin of horrible 
obstinacy to resist the titillation of the famelical sense, which is 
the smell, therefore be bold, huh! huh! huh! follow the scent." 

And so much for this " novelty," with which 1 have " enriched 
the language!" 

The next is " huisch !" In the dull towns, and duller inns of 
Germany, I formerly amused myself with making a complete 
translation of Rabelais. In his works, which are pretty familiar 
to me, I found this " novelty" very frequently used, and precisely 
in the sense to which I have applied it. In the English — but 
what have I done ! 

Eheu, quid volui misero mihi ! floribus aprum 
Perditus, immisi. 



[62] 

I have unwarily furnished arms against myself; and the Critic, 
indisputably the dullest that ever took up the trade, will yet 
have sufficient cunning to discover, that translating Rabelais, 
when I should have been engaged on Juvenal, was a nefarious 
attempt to " pick the pockets of my subscribers." 

" Voids his brain:" what " novelty" the Critic found in this 
I cannot guess, and must therefore leave it to its fate. " Loads," 
too, sounds like an expression that has been heard before, though, 
it seems scarcely necessary to waste either my time or the 
reader's in proving it ! 

" Hot and hot ;" — but away with trifling — the readers of the 
Critical Review doubtless imagined, that the passages here 
adduced as proofs of the " vulgarity" and " unauthorized novel- 
ties of the translator of Juvenal," were all to be found in the 
translation. It would be strange, indeed, if they thought 
otherwise ; since to reprobate one book for expressions taken from 
another ; to produce what has been many years before the 
public, and insidiously foist it upon the reader as decisive evi- 
dence of the demerits of a work then under examination for the 
first time, is to sap at once the foundation of all criticism, and 
reduce the Critic below the level of a highwayman ! All this, 
however, and more, is done by the Critical Reviewer : the pas- 
sages he so insultingly exhibits are not in Juvenal, but in the 
Baviad, to which he constantly reverts with an unquiet and 
fearful eye ! Let the indignation of the reader suggest what 
feelings this mixture of the language of Billingsgate, with the 
morality of Bagshot, must exdte in every honest mind, and then 
admire my forbearance. 



[63] 

'* Festinat enim, kc." 

For youth, too transient flower' (of" life's short day 

The shortest part,) but blossoms to decay, 

Lo! while we give tiie unregarded hour 

To wine and revelry, in pleasure's bower, 

The noiseless foot of time steals swiftly by, 

And, ere we dream of manhood, age is nigh ! Sat. IX. 

In this passage " Juvenal is miserably blighted by the touch of 
" Mr. Gifford." p. 325. 

This calamity is brought on him, — by what does the reader 
think? by the use of the vulgar novelty noiseless! I sometimes, 
as Rabelais says, lose my Latin, when I consider the inexpres- 
sible stupidity of this man; he appears to be unacquainted with 
every book in the language (the Baviad excepted,) and I have 
been frequently tempted, in the course of this examination, to 
suppose him some vagabond Swiss or German, who has picked 
up his language and his manners, in the important post of usher 
to a boarding-school. But to the " vulgar novelty," noiseless: 

Convinc'd that noiseless piety might dwell 

In secular retreats, and flourish well. Harte. 

So noiseless would I live, such death to find, 

Like timely fruit, not shaken by the wind. Dryden. 

They kept the noiseless tenor of their way. Gray. 

France spreads her banners in our noiseless land. Siiaks. 



[04] 

And that most beautiful passage in All's Well that Ends 
Well ; 

For we are old; and on our quick'st decrees 
The inaudible and noiseless foot of time 
Steals, ere we can effect them. 

But the Critic is not only the stupidest, but the unluckiest of 
all two-legged animals : that he should revile and insult me is 
perfectly in character ; he is paid for it by Mr. Hamilton ; but 
that, for this purpose, he should select phrases which have long 
been considered as ornaments of the English tongue ; phrases, 
taken as peculiarly expressive of the original ideas, and which, 
being in every one's mouth, would be instantly recognized, is a 
fatality in blundering, proper only to this poor devil of a Re- 
viewer, whose wretched case, but for one circumstance, I could 
almost pity, sed sum petulanti splene cachinno ! 

" In the tenth Satire we admire Mr. Giffbrd's powers of con- 
" versation !" p. 32,6. No, not mine, Sir, — for of these you know 
nothing, and if I have any luck " will never know more ;" but of 
the lowest mob of Rome, which is carefully distinguished from 
that of the author ; and which you may find delineated in 
Dryden and others, pretty nearly in the same manner. As for 
your wit — you have given me a verse,* I see; I will return the 
compliment ; but mine are not, like yours, " by a distinguished 
master of the British lyre :" 

* " Tis best sometimes your anger to restrain, 
" And charitably let the dull be vain." p. 327. 



[65 J 

Why should 'st thou take superfluous pains 
To show thy well-known want of brains, 
And for vile scoffs thy head perplex, 
Which can nor tickle me, nor vex ? — 
Thy censures, by thy dullness, known, 
Hurt not my credit, nor thy own ! 

"The text of Henninius gives us mi randis ; following Britan- 
" nicus, Wakefield, 8cc. Mr. Gifford prefers miranti." p. 326. 
Following Wakefield ! it might be said, with equal justice, that 
Wakefield followed me, for this Satire was translated long before 
I had the happiness of knowing that such a commentator existed. 
But what foolery is here? Mr. Wakefield indeed (dum vita fuit) 
was " a rated sinew" in Mr. Hamilton's corps, and obliged the 
literary, world, amongst other choice morsels, with a pitiable ef- 
fusion of rage and envy, on the Euripides of Mr. Porson; — but 
even this does not give him a claim to rank with Britannicus, 
as a restorer of Juvenal. 

And what does the Critic know of Britannicus? I will stake 
my credit with the world, that he never saw his edition of Ju- 
venal, and cannot tell at this moment what his text contains ! 
He read in the notes to the translation (which is all he knows of 
the matter,) that Britannicus had justly explained miranti; and 
on this he sets up for a judge, forsooth ! and with no other edition 
than that of Henninius before him, (this he confesses,) pretends 
to tell the reader what, and whom I followed ! 

But I have yet a word to say of Mr. Wakefield. I am accused 
of having rifled him, amongst others : this may be brought to a 

K 



[66] 

short issue. If the Reviewer can find in any part of the trans- 
lation a single hint taken from him, I will consent to plead guilty 
to all his charges. The truth is, I never thought him worth 
consulting. I heard once of his translating the tenth Satire of 
Juvenal, but never looked at it; since I have been twitted with 
robbing him, however, I have read his magnum opus, his 
Lucretius, and find no reason to change my opinion : — the man 
who could mistake the song — but I will say no more on the 
subject, unless provoked anew. 

" obtritum vulgi pent omne cadaver 



" More animae, Sec. 

" The body, with the soul, would vanish quite, 
" Invisible as air to mortal sight ! 

" is a languid translation. Mr. G. evinces no poetic sensation 
" We" 

mark his absolute We, 

This triton of the minows ! 

V We might have been induced to prefer morte animae, and to 
" mark more poetically 

" The body perish with the dying soul Iff p. 326 

WhenDryden's translation of Virgil appeared, it was attacked 
by a "Critical Reviewer" of the name of Milboume; dull, 
petulant, and abusive : a " gentleman" too, as are his succes- 
sors, — all gentlemen. He did not, indeed, descend to forgery, 
nor, as far as I can find, pretend to quote passages from the 



[67 ] 

translation, which lie knew were not there ; in every other respect 

he resembled Mr. . But hear Johnson. " He (Dryden) 

produced,'! says Tope, •' the most noble and spirited translation 
that 1 know id any language. It certainly excelled whatever had 
appeared in English, and appears to have satisfied his friends, 
and, lor the most part, to have silenced his enemies. Milijourne, 
indeed, attacked it, but his outrages seem to be the ebullitions of 
a mind agitated by stronger resentment than bad poetry can 
excite, and previously resolved not to be pleased." Vol. IX. 
p. 426. 

This old Reviewer, however, Pope calls " the fairest of 
critics," and justly, for to his reprobation of Dry den's version he 
subjoined his own. How often have I wished that our young 
Milbournes would follow the reverend example of their father! 
At length — Dii me audivere — and a line is produced to make 
amends, as is proudly observed, for the " langour and anti- 
poetic qualities" of mine. As might be expected ; besides being 
absolute prose, it is rank nonsense, and in direct opposition to 
the meaning of the author ! 

Juvenal says, the body (of the poor slave) was so ground to 
dust by the falling of the loaded waggon upon it, — that it was 
lost, — peril, — it vanished like the soul. I have avoided all 
ostentation of literature in the castigation of this despicable foe, 
lest I should be found " casting pearls before swine ;" once more 
however, I will produce a passage from Rupert i : 

obtritum vulgi perit omne cadaver. 

" Corpora tam minutatim concisa obteruntur, ut non magis 
K2 



[68] 

fere conspiciantur, quam anima, et prorsus evanescant, vel ocu- 
lorum aciem fugiant." Vol. II. p. 147. 

Nothing can be more just ; yet Wakefield, whom I am ac- 
cused of rifling, with equal modesty and judgment recommends 
all future editors to admit morte animae into the context ! " We 
11 too," say his delighted brethren, " might have been induced to 
44 prefer morte" — so that the sense will be " the body perishes by 
the death of the soul ! ! !" These " learned" gentlemen forget that 
Juvenal was no atheist ; and that the soul, which they with so 
much self-complacency annihilate in the 561st line, is, in the 
264 th, said to be sitting on the banks of the Styx, and wistfully 
looking for a passage. 

The last objection, (to which we are now arrived,) is raised 
against a note. " Mr. G. pretends to despise a fancy of Bruce," 
Sec. p. 32,6. There is no pretence in the matter: what I thought 
I spoke ; and have no objection to repeat. Bruce is unfounded 
in every thing that he has said respecting Juvenal. But I do not 
therefore despise him ; though I do his defender, most heartily : 
first, for his spiteful misrepresentation of me ; and next, for his 
asinine justification of Bruce; — " the Egyptians devoured human 
44 flesh in a famine, eleven hundred years after Juvenal's death; 
44 therefore they were cannibals when he wrote." Q. E. D. Ad- 
mirable ! As you were pleased, Sir, to refer me to your Review 
of Abdollatiph (which is contained in the same month, Novem- 
ber,) I turned to it ; and must take the liberty of observing, that 
it is truly worthy of you. The review of Juvenal is not more 
grossly ignorant. I now, too, can account for some of your ma- 
lignity. 1 have the misfortune, it appears, in dissenting^ from 



[69] 

Bruce, to differ also from you : and you feel it ! But the reader 
shall have your " sage annotations." 

11 Juvenal, who had a military command in Egypt, accuses 
11 them of devouring dead bodies raw ; 

11 Contenta cadavere crudo. Sat XV. 83." 

If you can read the Latin, you must know that he accuses 
them only of devouring a dead body raw : — and if you can read 
any thing, you ought to conclude, from the horror and amaze- 
ment he expresses at it, and from his forbearing, amidst all his 
hatred and contempt of the natives, to charge them with canni- 
balism, that the crime was unknown amongst them. The poor 
wretch, of whom Juvenal speaks, was killed in a religious fray, 
and torn to pieces and eaten in a moment of frenzy, by the 
zealots of a creed different from his own. The French, during 
the progress of their horrible revolution, have torn out and 
devoured the hearts of many women and priests, yet who ever 
thought of describing them, on that account, as a nation that 
fed on human flesh? Fixed and general manners, not sudden 
ebullitions of political and religious fury, ought in justice to 
establish the character of a people. 

" We own that we have spared no pains to find out some 
" other meaning for ■ cadavere,' besides a human corse, but without 
" success." If these extraordinary pains procured you a double pot 
of beer from Mr. Hamilton, it is well — but with what inex- 
pressible scorn must every man of sense regard such miserable 
quackery. Juvenal tells a plain story, one man fell in tne ilight 
of his party; the victorious enemy seized and tore him to 



[10] 

pieces — they did not, adds he, wait for fire, and spits to dress 
him, but were content with the raw carcass, contenta cadavere 
crudo." What other meaning did the " sage commentator" want 
for cadavere ? Is it not obvious to a child of three years old that 
the plain construction of the word is the only one which can 
make sense of the passage? Yet the Critic " spares no pains," 
forsooth, to find out some other meaning for cadavere, besides a 
human corse ! — That they should be unsuccessful, as he says 
they were, must be a subject of infinite regret to those who duly 
appreciate the importance of his learned labours: I, though all 
unworthy, could have helped him to several other " meanings" of 
cadavere: though the merit is, and ever will be his, of first 
searching for them on the present occasion. Now we talk of 
searching, it may be right to notice a " discovery" of my own, 
which is, that the Critic, who talks so " flippantly" of Juvenal, 
never read the Satire from which he quotes, and is ridiculously 
ignorant of its purport and design ! 

" This testimony of Juvenal is unexceptionable,/^ he com- 
" manded a cohort at Oasis, in the year 837, ab urbe condita, 
" in the consulship of Appius Junius Sabinus," p. 255. This 
stuff is from Bruce! While I was carefully collecting, and 
anxiously comparing every authority which I could find on the 
subject of Juvenal's life, in ancient and modern writers, with a 
view of compiling a short narrative, which I " hoped (to use my 
own words) might bear the stamp of probability," was this oracular 
" gentleman," with all the confidence of blind ignorance, intrepidly 
delivering a statement, absurd in all its parts, and which even 
Dodwell, nay Dussaulx proves to be incredible as well as false ; 



1*1 ] 

from no better authority than a few incorrect and incidental 
observations dropt by one who had never considered the matter 
for a single moment ! 

" Having examined the work, with the respect due to a classic, 
" we proceed to judgment, assisted by the translator himself. 
" His conjecture, — C I do not know the Abdera of England ; my 
" readers, 1 fear, have been sometimes inclined to fancy it to be 
M Ashburton,' — is remarkably felicitous. His readers assuredly 
*' must indulge this idea." p. 3i>7. 

In the tenth Satire is a playful note on the words " folly's 
atmosphere," that concludes thus: " I recollect an old French 
epitaph, which says, 

Guillaume de Machault; ainsi avoie nom, 
Ne en Champagne fus, et si eu grand renom ! 

Champaigne, then, is the Abdera of France; and indeed most 
countries have some reprobate spot, to which its courteous 
neighbours assign the exclusive privilege of producing (verveces) 
bell-weathers. I do not pretend to know the Abdera of England ; 
my readers, I fear, have been sometimes inclined to fancy it to 
be Ashburton." (p. 327.) 

This last line my friend advised me to omit, lest it should be 
construed into an awkward compliment to myself. I let it stand, 
however, in pure malice; as I was well aware that the grave 
absurdity of some snivelling Bavian would find a splendid 
triumph in fastening upon the supposition. Fie smiled at the 
idea, but he laughed outright at seeing it realized : And this poor, 



[ '2 1 

spiteful, mean-spirited sniveller, turns out to be a Critical 
Reviewer ! this is as it should be. 

Lest, however, the good people of Ashburton, (who know 
nothing of the matter,) should fall into absolute despondency at 
being thus held forth as the Abderites of Great Britain ; they 
are mercifully informed that it is on my account this stigma 
attaches to them. — " There's life in't yet !" Cucullus non facit 
monachum ; one swallow does not make a summer; and Ash- 
burton may therefore still hope to shake off the load of obloquy 
with which my " dullness" hath surcharged it. And this is 
criticism ! 

As for Juvenal — he is " rather travestied than translated ; at 
4C the approach of the enchanter Gifford, eloquence, grace, majesty 
*' and magnificence, sink into Cimmerian darkness," p. 32,1 . 

This will hardly be credited, though you swear it: 

nam quod vulgo predicant 



Aurito me parente natum, not ita est. 

u From the borrowed plumage of his notes, we have plucked 
" many sickly feathers of petulance and vulgarity" p. 327. This 
" execrable jargon" means the direct contrary of what it professes 
to mean; but rage and malignity have so muddied and confused 
the few ideas which this miserable scribbler originally possessed, 
that he no longer knows what he would say. When the daws 
stript their comrade, it was of his most beautiful feathers, feathers 
which he had " rifled" from the peacocks! I, it seems, have 
shewn less pride than the daw, and picked up only petulant and 



[ is] 

vulgar feathers, of which the Critic, in pure good will, has 
courteously disencumbered me ; O te, Bolane ! It is just, however, 
that I should be heard in my turn respecting this " sickly" 
plumage: it will be found, that a desire to conceal my thefts, 
whatever be their value, cannot be justly urged against me. 

"Of the " borrowed learning of notes," which Dryden says he 
avoided as much as possible, I have amply availed myself. During 
the long period in which I have had my thoughts fixed on Juvenal, 
it has been usual with me, whenever I found a passage that related 
to him, to fix it on my memory, or to note it down. These, on 
the revision of the work lor the press, I added to such reflections 
as arose in my own mind, and arranged in the manner they now 
appear. I confess that this was not an unpleasant task to me, and 
I will venture to hope, that if my own suggestions fail to please, 
yet the J req ueni recurrence of some cf the most striking and 
j.lal mi i. passages of ancient and modern poetry ^ history, Sec. 
will render it neither unamusing nor uninstructive. p. Ixvii. 



11 Awakened by his 11 and egotism, our indignation 

" might have whirled this pretender from the heights of his 
11 usurpation, to bitter scorn a sacrifice." p. 311. I cannot 
compare this magnificent burst of ridiculous vanity in a poor 
insignificant creature, letting out his liny at twenty shillings a 
sheet; (for that is the utmost Mr. Hamilton pays him ) I cannot 
compare it, I say, to any thing so aptly as to that of a goose, 
when it has thrust its head through the gale of a farm-yard, and 
hissed with all its might at a passenger carelessly whistling by. 
Ik ven anil earth! with what innate pride does the creature 
waddle back to its companions, and cackle to them, by the way, 

L 



[74] 

of the prowess he has shewn, and the terror he has excited ! 
" Our indignation" quoth he, in the very words of the Critic, 
" might have whirled this pretender" — O Gilray, Gilray ! leave 
statesmen for a while, and goosify a Critical Reviewer. 

" Our own duty to the public being discharged, we may 
" administer justice in mercy, and protect" — grammercy, gentle- 
men, for your protection ! — " this humbled culprit from farther 
"punishment." p.327. I was about to be seriously angry, but the 
object is too contemptible : let it pass. It seems, however, to me, 
that when the " society" have thus lavished their whole fury 
on some devoted head, they are bound, in justice to themselves, 
to make their vengeance known to him. Strange as it may appear 
to Mr. Hamilton, it is nevertheless true, that several months had 
elapsed before I knew of the fearful destruction that was come 
upon me. Perhaps, I should never have known it, but for my 
bookseller, who called on me, one evening, with the Reviews in 
his pocket. He can witness for me, that if I smiled at the 
egregious fbllyof the first, I was diverted beyond measure at 
the comical frenzy of the last. I saw the Critic, (I wish I knew 
his name,) I saw the Critic "in my mind's eye," struggling to be 
facetious, with tears of anguish streaming down his cheeks, and 
every attempt to force a laugh ending in a compromise between 
an execration and a grin ! Ancient Pistol at his leek, appeared to 
me but a faint prototype of this unfortunate Bravo of a Reviewer. 



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